Veronica walks into an upscale lingerie store -- this is no Cacique, my friends -- and VOs, "I heard it from a pro: lingerie. Maybe I should get into the spirit of doing things normal girlfriends do. I should make more of an effort to please my man." Ew, my stomach turned at that particular phrasing. Veronica's lingerie reverie is interrupted by that badly-wigged Madison leaving a dressing room and asking no one in particular if they have thigh-highs with the seam up the back. Veronica tells her that they were near the pasties and edible underwear. Madison compliments Veronica's wisdom in sticking to the sale rack: "It's almost a waste for me to spend all this money on something that will be ripped right off of me." Veronica says that Madison really doesn't have to work that hard to get Dick back: "A Hefty bad and some duct tape and he'd be good to go." Madison gives Veronica an amused look and shrugs the idea of Dick off with a "please." Veronica reminds Madison that she came looking for Dick the other night. "Oh, Logan and I hooked up in Aspen over the holidays," says Madison. "I guess you two were split, huh? I was in town and thought he might have some free time but, oh, well." Continuing to rub rock salt in the potentially really fake wound and drawing on a great scene between Norma Shearer and Joan Crawford in The Women, Madison suggests that Veronica stay away from the one-pieces: Logan doesn't much care for them. Veronica looks sick and wronged. However, her Crystal Allen response should have been, "Thanks for the tip, but whenever I wear something that doesn't please Logan, I take it off!"
Next week: you're stuck with me for one more week. Rant or celebrate as you wish.