Okay, first she's a girl at Comic-Con. Then she's a hooker. Then she's a hooker with a heart of gold. Then she's a scamming hooker with a heart of pyrite. Then she's a hooker with a heart of gold again. Then she's a pole dancer. I swear, this plot switched back on itself so many times I didn't know which end was up. I comforted myself with the thought that hookers probably have the same problem. So, Max comes to Veronica with a request to find a Geekette he met at Comic-Con, but it turns out that she was just a hooker his roommates hired and coached to be the Geekette of his dreams. No matter: Max still wants her found, so after slogging through all the Battlestar Galactica references, Veronica finds her. They're in love -- real love it would appear -- all over Logan's couch until one of hooker Chelsea/Wendy/Fiona's sister-hookers shows up all bruised and whiny. Cheliondy needs to come back to the hooker fold to keep the bruising and whininess at bay. God, long story short: Veronica discovers that the bruising was fake, but in the end, Cheliondy does have a heart of gold, and Max pays $10,000 to get her out of hooker hock. They're happy for all of five minutes until Max is faced with the reality of Cheliondy's past, which...he already knew? But now he can't seem to stomach it? They split, and Cheliondy goes back to a previous pole-dancing gig. Meanwhile, Keith is sort of making headway on Dean Ed Begley's murder by dressing up and going bad cop on the Lillith Triumverate. He manages to squeeze out an admission that they egged the Dean's office the night he was killed, and gets Nish to own up to egging the Dean's Volvo. The thing is, the Dean wasn't driving the Volvo that night, but his wife was. In Love Bird news, Veronica and Logan are barely back together before Veronica starts asking searching questions that every healthy couple should discuss: "Have you ever been with a hooker?" "Were you with anyone in Mexico that night Mercer raped someone?" "Did you hook up with anyone when we were separated?" Logan answers "no" to the first two but cops to one assignation he feels gross about. Veronica gets over this brief disturbance in the Logan Force, but is back to being in the throes of the Dark Side when Madison pops up to tell her that she and Logan hooked up in Aspen over the holidays. Why Veronica suddenly decides look upon Madison as a bastion of truthiness will have to remain a mystery to me until next week.
This is a little nervewracking and worrisome; I've never recapped a really smart show I heartily love and look forward to watching every week. Usually, I am filled to the rim with bile and sarcasm and general disgust, but this time will be different. I hope I can keep you as entertained as Couch Baron does me.
Previously, Dean Ed was egged and shot, after which the Widder Dean Ed asked Keith to investigate Dean Ed's suicide and find it to be a murder. Veronica unconsciously raised Piz's hopes (is that really how it's spelled? All this time I was thinking it was "Pez," like the candy. "Piz" looks too much like "piss") only to dash them by getting back together with Logan.
In the caf, Veronica and Logan have a protracted discussion about whether he's going to eat a single French fry from a pile of many French fries. It ends when Logan proceeds to feed Veronica the fry in question after it has been dipped in ketchup to "make it worth a girl's while." I don't quite get the point of this scenelet unless it's to remind us of just how cute and compatible Logan and Veronica are as a couple before the pit viper of suspicion and mistrust makes a permanent nest in Veronica's heart? Before taking off for Astronomy, Logan drops the recent edition of the campus Lampoon in front of Veronica. The cover and succeeding gatefold read "EGG-ED," and accompany a piece titled,"Multiple eggings beat fear into Lampoon editors." "Don't tell me they actually wrote something funny in there," Weevil cracks, joining Veronica at her table. Veronica tells him that, even better than that, the Lampoon offices got egged the night after Dean Ed reinstated the Greeks. She hands over the issue so that Weevil can take in the grassy-knoll analysis of where the eggings occurred. The graphic is labeled "Huevosnacht!" Ah, like Kristallnacht. A supremely less funny attack. It appears as though three places were egged: the Lampoon offices, the Pi Sig house, and the Randolph Hearst statue. Veronica reminds us that the Lilith House on the Prairie girls are the ones who egged the Pi Sigs. Weevil goes off on how stupid "these people" are, and bitches about Dean Ed getting egged: "Like he's the one who has to clean it up." Do you think Weevil had to clean up the Dean after the whole brain-splatter event? After Veronica calmly notes that the piece doesn't mention the Dean getting egged, Weevil explains that the Dean was egged the same night: "I don't know why they didn't put that in there -- maybe they couldn't find a way to make it funny." Yeah, "Dean egged into suicide" isn't exactly a thigh-slapper. Weevil rubs his head as he muses that the Dean was a good guy, and that it's a "damn shame" he's dead. Veronica has been furrowing silently at Weevil this whole time as the full import of his words sink in.