Veronica Mars
Ruskie Business

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 4 USERS: A+
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Helping People Is Overrated

Veronica is holding a picture of a nondescript-looking middle-aged man kneeling down for a picture with a very cute, if highly unusual-looking, spotted dog. Catarina tells Veronica that the man's name is Tom, and that, two years ago, she came from Russia to meet him. Catching the snap, Veronica asks if this was a mail-order bride deal. Catarina: "Not mail, anymore. Eenternet." Hee. Catarina adds that they exchanged messages, and that she came to Chicago as his fiancée. Veronica tells her that was brave. Catarina smiles and says that all the boys back home told her she was like a princess: "Maybe I am expecting a prince." You should have gone to Minneapolis. Catarina basically tells Veronica that Tom was a bald fugster, and she got "the cold feet" and left, but she realized afterward that he's a good man. Also, princess or not, she's a little past the age where she can walk into a bar and get all her vodka for free. She says that she can't find him because he changed his name, and he did that because he does plays, and his name is "Tom Cruz," which causes obvious confusion. I have to say that of all the reasons I would change my name from a homonym of that particular person, the confusion the name caused wouldn't be in my top ten. Veronica asks why Catarina thinks Tom is in Neptune, and Catarina produces a postcard from Tom that she says she got several months earlier. There's a postmark, however, that has the Neptune name on it, and reads "February 2005." It's not clear from what happens later if the postcard was faked or not, which means either that (a) It was a fake, but Veronica missed the discrepancy in the date, or (b) it wasn't a fake and the props department screwed that up, and there really was a relationship between Catarina and Tom, which means that, given what we learn later, he risked his life sending it to her, which can be rejected as impossibly stupid. The postcard basically tells Catarina to get lost, in a nice way. Veronica says that he shouldn't be too hard to find, and tells Catarina the fee is $75, although Keith had said it was $75 an hour, but maybe that's their minimum or something. She says that Keith should have something for Catarina in a couple of days. All she needs is just a little patience.

Veronica mutters to herself that it shouldn't be so hard to find an actor named Tom Cruz, and then closes up her laptop and tells Wallace she's hanging out. She'll be back on that thing in a few minutes -- it is sweeps. Oh wait, that's me. Veronica asks if Wallace is on the basketball team. Yikes. Considering how subtle this show usually is with the exposition, that was like being woken up at 5 AM by a smoke alarm and a bucket of ice water. I mean, it wouldn't be quite so bad if we didn't already know Wallace was on the basketball team. Wallace says she hasn't been coming to the games: "I am the basketball team." Veronica asks for a favor. Wallace rather sullenly, but not without justification, tells her she just stopped hanging out again. Also, Veronica is totally doing the casual head-tilty thing that Weevil called her on. Nice. Veronica says the favor's for Saint Blonde, since Caz and Martin are on the team, so Veronica wants Wallace to check their phones and see whether either of them called Saint Blonde. Wallace mutters about "girlie-girl drama." Veronica smiles that if he does her this favor, they'll be best friends forever: "Come on, don't you want us to be BFF?" Wallace agrees, but says seriously that the next time they hang out, they actually have to hang out. Veronica smiles to cover the fact that she thinks of Wallace as a key to the school's records office. It's a brilliant disguise.

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Veronica Mars

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