Veronica Mars
Show Me The Monkey

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 11 USERS: A
Monkey See, Monkey Die

Mac warily enters a science lab to find the scientists within cleaning up; it looks like the place was ransacked. Mac's attempt at levity is met with a uncomprehending stare from one of the lab workers, a pretty young black woman, who tells Mac that she called her because whoever broke in sabotaged their computer, and there was a year's worth of research on the hard drive: "Our professor will have med students practicing autopsies on us." The other scientist, a somewhat dorky white guy, says that it wasn't their fault, and that he locked up the lab the night before. Mac asks if they have a backup, and the girl, "Pauline," tells her "he's" gone too. Mac doesn't get it, so the dude tells Mac that she's referring to "25," their research monkey. Well, I don't think that's as good as a backup hard drive. I mean, I know funds are tight in research labs, but you guys are supposed to be innovative. Grab 25 and an organ and hit the streets! Anyway, the dude says that even if they did get the data back, without 25 the project is dead. Pauline: "Who do you go to to find a stolen monkey and twenty control-group rats?" Pauline's about to learn that rhetorical questions are falling waaaaay out of favor.

Cut to the answer, Veronica, wearing an unhappy look as she stares at an oblivious Logan across the cafeteria. These two are always getting in trouble with that. VMVO (I KNOW!) addresses him, saying that his title of "ex-boyfriend" comes with certain restrictions, and that she should be able to have her "Veronica time" in the food court. Mac's voice calls Veronica's name, and she responds in kind. Upon looking up and seeing Pauline and the guy in their white coats, she adds, "And the people coming to take me away." Hee. Mac introduces the scientists ("Gil" is the guy's name) and tells her about the missing monkey. Veronica: "'Monkey' as in..." Mac: "Touch my." Hee, again, although she missed out on extra credit by declining to do the German accent. Veronica asks if the monkey plays piano. Pauline babbles some science-speak at Veronica, the upshot of which is that the monkey has been genetically altered to allow them to monitor his cholesterol breakdown, presumably so that they can experiment with finding a drug that treats high levels of it. Presumably something besides statins, because HELLO. Veronica looks at her plaintively. Pauline, exasperatedly giving in: "And he can play chopsticks." Sometimes you have to drag the humor out of people. It's often worth it, Janeane Garofalo notwithstanding. Veronica asks if they have any idea who would want to nab the monkey. Pauline has to interject about 25 being a number and not a name, and that they don't name the animals or treat them as pets, and I like this episode fine and all, but can we leave the One To Grow On stuff for the end? Thanks. Pauline adds that an organization called PHAT, or People for Humane Animal Treatment, stole the monkey. Gil adds that their future is at stake, and that they need the monkey back. It's a good thing Veronica never played poker with this guy -- her money situation's been dire enough as it is. Credits.

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Veronica Mars




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