Veronica Mars
Show Me The Monkey

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 11 USERS: A
Monkey See, Monkey Die

Veronica is sitting on the steps outside a campus building when Piz emerges from within. She asks him if he can use some of that "Oregon mountain man kill-what-you-eat-gun-rack charm" to book Ed Argent on his show. Piz: "Everything north of San Francisco is just Thunderdome to you, isn't it?" Heh. Although Veronica probably knows that things tend to be a little wetter up there. Anyway, there's some verbal sparring that's meant to cover up the fact that Piz has no chance against Veronica's puppy eyes. It doesn't work.

In the lab, Pauline grouses that 25's food, still there after the break-in, is gone. She speculates that the PHAT people broke in again and took it to take care of the monkey, which...if you think about it, is kind of suspicious, but easy to overlook. Veronica tells Pauline that PHAT might have a splinter cell, and that she's working on infiltration. Veronica then, not all that casually, asks what happens to 25 once the test is over, and Pauline easily responds that the only way to conclusively prove the test results is through an autopsy. Veronica's not thrilled at hearing this, but Pauline, more defensively, says that that's how important scientific breakthroughs are made. Some woman in a lab coat interrupts, making of big show of pointing out that the AC is on full: "If you want to see my nipples, just ask." Hilariously, Gil smiles and raises his hand. Hee. The woman, "Emi," and Pauline snark at each other, and then Emi slams the door to her office as Pauline rolls her eyes.

Cut to Emi, not looking up from her microscope, telling Veronica that she was in her lab until 9, and that she didn't see anything suspicious. (Emi seems to be studying plants, by the way.) She bitches that Pauline and company have twice the space she has, all to "find a pill so fat guys in the suburbs can keep eating cheeseburgers. It's ridiculous." She looks up and tells Veronica that, while Pauline and Gil aren't her favorite people, she's a scientist, and as such, she'd never vandalize a lab. Veronica considers that.

Piz shakes the ostensible Ed Argent's hand, telling him he was awesome. He looks like an extra from the big bar scene in Thelma And Louise, which is probably all you need to know about him. ["He's a lot beefier than Ted Nugent, anyway -- too many potatoes with his squirrel and muskrat, perhaps." -- Wing Chun] As they come out of the booth, Veronica, wearing a Zeta Theta Beta sweatshirt, jumps up and down and squeals that she's his biggest fan, and even joined the NRA "after they covered [him] in Guns magazine." Heh. Parker and Mac are present and besweatshirted as well, and Parker gets into the act as easily as Veronica did, but Mac has to steel herself for a moment before standing and saying that the Second Amendment is her favorite. Heh, again. And there's a joke about the guy's sleeveless vest in there somewhere, but I'd rather not dwell on that subject, so let's move on. Anyway, Veronica holds up another sweatshirt and asks if they could get him to wear it for a picture for their "celebrity wall." Argent consents, but doesn't notice that Mac and Veronica slyly succeed at some sweatshirt switcheroo. (What am I on today?) Anyway, the new sweatshirt reads "Meat Is Murder," and Parker snaps a picture as Argent smarmily offers to stop by the sorority house later. Veronica: "I think the Theta Betas would really enjoy that!" Hee.

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Veronica Mars




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