Veronica Mars
Silence Of The Lamb

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 3 USERS: A
Mac's Daddy...

Teddy Dunn? Jason Dohring? Who are they? ["They seem pretty cool." -- Kid CB, starting to founder in his attempts to pass]

No time has passed, as Keith explains that he's just been hired back temporarily to help with the serial killer case. Veronica can't believe that both Keith and Fuckface agreed to it, but Keith explains that he's getting paid his normal hourly rate, while the Mayor didn't give Fuckface a choice, because a serial killer who preys on college girls is bad for spring-break business. Boy, it's not a lot of thoughts that make me want to put the term "serial killer" after the word "go," but the interruption of spring-break business is certainly one of them. Anyway, Keith's the closest thing they've got to an authority on the killer, so Fuckface is fucked very satisfyingly. For us, that is. Veronica realizes that, with Keith at the sheriff's office, he'll be able to get his hands on the tape of the anonymous call that fingered Abel Koontz. Keith tells her that won't be on his agenda. He won't have time, with him and Fuckface starring in their own version of Lethal Weapon. Which is appropriate, since Keith is bald, like Danny Glover, and Fuckface is Satan, like Mel Gibson.

Veronica meets up with Jackson. There's little good to say about this scene, since Veronica is selling secrets solely for monetary gain, and they're back in the girls' bathroom, a setting I hate. ["Not me! Girls' bathroom! Yeah!" -- Kid CB, digging himself deeper despite his best efforts]

Some girl comes up to Veronica and says she hears she can dig up dirt on parents. Veronica smiles in a very "won't you come into my parlor" way. Appropriate, considering she's sucking people dry.

Keith is briefing the members of the sheriff's department on the E-String strangler. The basic sitch is that Keith talks; Fuckface, who's also standing, cuts in with snarky comments; Keith either ignores him or snarks back; and everyone else looks either amused or bemused. Just a staff meeting like any other. One of the speaking deputies is the dude from the pilot, while another is a young guy who...well, I'll probably take some shit for this, but I think he's pretty cute. At least he doesn't resemble any amphibian I can think of off the top of my head. Anyway, Keith tells the group that the guitar string is just an affectation of the killer -- he actually held the girls prisoner in a contained space until they suffocated. Fuckface cuts in that the murders are reminiscent of the "Hillside Strangler case." Keith: "Except that the Hillside strangler did actually strangle the girls." You say tomato, I say tom-AH-to. You say potato, I say shut your frickin' piehole. AH-to. Anyway, before Keith and Fuckface get to the actual pissing contest, Keith informs the group that the weekend killings suggest that the killer has a traditional job, and Fuckface says that the most recent victim has what looked like a smudged phone number on her palm, which is being scrutinized by the lab. I hope the results aren't reminiscent of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I caught a marathon of that show on New Year's Eve, and let me tell you, whoever writes for it is pretty sick. And coming from me...well it definitely means something, even if it's not a compliment.

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Veronica Mars




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