Veronica Mars
The Bitch Is Back

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 27 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
...And She's Hella Pissed

Long pan over the grounds of a large estate, and then we see that a hatted Veronica is watching from her car as VMVO exposits that she followed "2400" there. It's a dress-up event, sans blindfolds, so I'm betting the pledges are in at this point. Veronica scans the place for a means of entry...

...and then we cut to her scaling a wall. Not bad for five-foot-one, although I'm betting from the appreciative response to the video that she's pretty limber. She goes to the window and snaps some more pictures, but the faces aren't clear enough, so she climbs in through the doggy door. And what will she say when she runs into the long-lost Backup? Awkward. (Hey, once more for old times' sake.) Veronica sneaks down the hallway until she turns to her left...and sees a giant portrait of Lilly Kane. Veronica looks stunned, and I'm betting she's hoping to start smelling bacon right about now.

9. You use Mandy again to convince yourself that you're not a loser, I will ruin your life. Got it? Veronica has often been a friend to the downtrodden, but this is the loudest and most awesome example.

Veronica's snapped out of her shock by nearby voices, prompting her to find a room and hide. She takes cover behind some curtains ahead of a rather haggard-looking Jake Kane coming into the room with some underling. I'm not saying it's that unlikely Jake would have come back to Neptune, especially if he was always a member of this secret society, but would he have bought a spread like this without it getting around the grapevine? I know it's the 09, but still. The underling says they got some great confessions this year (giving credence to the idea that they want people with nasty secrets), and Jake asks about the pledge gone awry, prompting the guy to show him the camera pen. Jake chuckles: "New age, isn't it?" Says the man who developed streaming video. Veronica observes Jake conducting some business with files on his computer, babbling something at the window, and then heading back to the "induction." When he and the flunky are gone, Veronica slips out and starts in on some thievery, but stops when she looks up at the painting of Duncan on the wall. I think we're meant to take that she sees a moral cautioning in his face, but all I'm viewing is a goofy smile. I guess it's consistent that even his portrait can't act. We stay on him...

...and the light shifts to indicate that night has become day, and we pan left to see that we've switched Marses, as Keith is hearing from Jake that Jake's hard drive went missing. It just so happens to have been the most valuable item in the house, as it had "five years of programming that will revolutionize the industry." Keith expresses surprise that Jake doesn't have a massive security system, and on cue, Clarence Wiedman (Yes!) walks in and says, "It's coming." I'd say it actually just arrived. Wiedman greets Keith, who says there was no forced entry, but Keith has a look around and discovers a thread on a nail in the doggy door. Wiedman: "You're looking at a tiny thief." I think Tiny Thief is on the CW's fall lineup. It practically writes itself!

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Veronica Mars

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