Veronica Mars
The Girl Next Door

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 4 USERS: A-
Her Name Is Luka...

Outside, Logan learns from Duncan that Weevil got expelled. Ugly Owen Wilson is there for some reason. Jeez, Percy Daggs. When Ugly Owen Wilson is rating speaking rates and you're not, it might be time for some emergency acting classes. (It might be time anyway, but I thought I'd make it sound good.)

In Keith's office, Luka's mother is telling him that Luka used to be light-hearted and "an angel," but that in her senior year of high school, she changed. As Veronica enters with some water for her, she speculates that Luka resented her mother's getting remarried. "She had a knack for attracting troubled young men." The stepfather, "Randall," tries to defend Luka, but the mother isn't having it. She adds that one day the year before, Luka just took off without finishing high school or even as much as saying goodbye. Randall says that she's only been gone a couple days, and that they're there to find her. Keith: "I'll do my best." So will I, to figure out why it took me as long as it did to figure out Randall's deal. Because, believe it or not, I have watched TV before.

Sometime later, Veronica tells Keith that she thinks Andre knows something, and that they should lean on him. Keith tells Veronica in no uncertain terms that he's handling the case, and that she's to stay out of it: "I've handled a hundred of these cases in my life, and they often end badly." Or begin badly, depending on the narrative structure chosen. Keith tells Veronica to prepare herself. Veronica: "Good advice. Where the hell was it a year ago, Nostradamus?"

Girls' bathroom. VMVO tells us that she convinced Keith to let her stay on the case by promising to stay away from Andre. Veronica calls Luka's doctor pretending to be Luka, and gets her test results over the phone, Don't buy it, no way, no how. But anyway, Luka went in for a paternity test, and the baby doesn't belong to Andre. It's a relief that the kid isn't genetically consigned to be a bad pretentious artist. He may have some other genetics-related problems, if you catch my drift. But frankly, that's the cross I'd choose to bear.

Logan goes in to see the vice-principal, whose name is apparently spelled "Clemmons." Also, unless the kids are shortening up his last name, his first name is "Van." But I can't really believe that that's the case, because if it is, I'd be incredibly disappointed that I couldn't count on Logan to greet him incessantly with a shout of "Van the Man!" Of course, it's possible that Logan is simply more mature than I am. Which means I should clearly sit down and re-examine my life. Anyway, Logan closes the door and tells Clemmons that he's "pissed off" that Weevil is getting all the credit for the car stunt. Clemmons warns him to watch his tongue. Logan goes on that "all of a sudden he's like the biggest bad-ass" -- look from Clemmons -- "rad dude here at Neptune." Hee. Logan goes on that he wants his share of the props. Clemmons tells him that if he's confessing to having helped Weevil, he can't just get away with it. Logan says he knows, and puts his feet up on the desk, which are adorned with the boots that are presumably the ones of Haaron's that Clemmons wants for the auction. I'm not sure what the big deal is -- the boots are an ordinary black pair with a few large red stars set into the leather. They don't look like anything so valuable you'd polish them with your tongue. Not, however, that you'd think that from Clemmons's expression. Keep that trap shut, dude. Logan: "So what kind of punishment are we talking about?" We don't hear the response, probably because Clemmons didn't even hear the question over the "Ch-CHING sounds in his head.

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Veronica Mars




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