Veronica Mars
The Quick And The Wed

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 2 USERS: A-
Actually, They're Neither, But Who's Keeping Score?

Okay, brace yourselves. Kendall is visiting Haaron in prison, and they're talking on the phone while staring at each other through the glass. Kendall says she's there to tempt Haaron, and Haaron leers, "Mission accomplished." If the writers are trying to tell us that only people with a wanton disregard for life use that two-word expression, it's just another reason why I love them. Haaron asks for clarification of the nature of the temptation. Kendall promises "huge tracts of land," and her esteem is steadily growing in my eyes if she can use a Monty Python reference to describe her enormous assets both so wittily and so succinctly. After some more flirting and double entendres that make me glad I can't see below Haaron's beltline at the moment, Kendall offers him the chance to be richer. I'd think Haaron's assets are frozen, but I'd be willing to believe he could gain access to quite a bit of dough one way or the other. Anyway, he cottons on that Kendall needs money, and agrees to help, but does his best Hannibal Lecter as he breathes, "Quid pro quo." Given the lack of subtlety in Haaron's flirting, I think he's a lot closer to Miggs at the moment. I certainly don't doubt that they both have a keenly honed ability to smell certain things in common. Kendall, for her part, displays her prime real estate as much as possible, but because it's network TV, Haaron needs a bit more, and asks if she knows Logan. Kendall's delivery of "We've...met," is both shameless and hilarious, and Haaron tells her perhaps she could find a reason to stop by his hotel room. Kendall is all okay, sure, I guess, and Haaron laughs lasciviously. Aw, father and son are going to revisit their favorite activity -- sharing a woman. Meeeeemories!

In a convenience store, Logan gets disapproving looks from a couple of Latino kids.

Cut to outside, where the kids ride by on their bikes, and one of them hocks a loogie right in Logan's face. He looks bummed, although I think it's less that he's developing a sense of right and wrong and more that he thinks poverty is transmissible through bodily fluids.

Logan's now on a couch with Hannah. She notices his sulky mood, and when she calls him on it, he says he's fine. She tells him he's lying, and gives him a titty twister as punishment. Poor, naïve girl, thinking he's not enjoying that. They giggle-wrestle until Hannah's mom comes in and asks to see Hannah in the kitchen for a moment. One guesses that she hasn't changed her mind about Logan, given that she looks ready to spit at Logan as well. Only the projectile will be not so much "saliva" as "nails." Hannah introduces Logan, who asks to use Ms. Griffith's computer, saying he wants to check some fantasy scores, but presumably actually to look for advice on the question of what to do if your girlfriend's mother's hatred for you is so strong that she's singeing your eyebrows from a distance of ten feet.

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Veronica Mars




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