Veronica Mars
The Rapes Of Graff

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Ice Ice Redux

Dorms. VMVO says that despite her "deep reserves of ill will," it's hard to believe Icetwin would lie about the name and number. Getting to Stacy's message board, she sees Icetwin's name and number partially erased by a green "CCC." And that's why you always leave a note. Just then, a hat-wearing Stacy opens the door and asks Veronica if she needs something. Veronica says no, and turns to go, but then goes back and introduces herself, saying that she was at the party. Stacy: "That was like, the best party ever, right? How was your rape?" Veronica gapes, as of all the people she's ever met who she thought could punch her in the gut, Stacy was pretty far down the list. I have to note, though, that given that one of the most powerful anti-rape slogans is "no means no," it's a little unfortunate that the first thing you think when you look at this character is "Maeby." Stacy asks if Veronica's there to drop off some pamphlets. Veronica: "A pamphlet's not gonna cover it. It's just gonna suck. And then it'll suck less." Emotionally, Veronica turns to go, but Stacy asks if they caught Icetwin. Veronica dances around that subject, saying that they're just trying to get all the facts straight. Stacy says she knows who it was as she takes off her hat, revealing her closely-cropped head (although it looks fairly evident that Alia is wearing a headcap). She tells Veronica, "I just want some Biblical justice!" As Annyong would say, she old-school. And since the parallels between you and Veronica are being laid on a bit thick, Stacy, I'd suggest you get used to blue-filtered memories and hearing yourself in voice-over a lot. Stacy notices a box next to her door and opens it, but drops it in horror when she sees that it contains hair. Veronica is all, "Oh God...that...is just...." The word Veronica is searching for is "creepy." On examination, though, Stacy says that the hair isn't hers. One of her hallmates comes out, and Veronica asks her if she saw who delivered the box. The girl declines to answer, but instead asks Stacy what Veronica's doing there: "She was there with him, Stacy. She's here trying to help him get off the hook." Veronica decides whether to focus on that irony or simply on the awkward as we go to commercial.

Veronica enters a wig store as VMVO tells us that if, by chance Stacy wasn't the first victim, there could be another girl at Hearst who's sporting a wig. One can only imagine the wacky hijinx involving a cancer patient that could ensue from pursuing this lead. VMVO says it's time for her to clinch that Emmy nomination, and I certainly can't begrudge the writers the meta there, because WAKE THE FUCK UP, AMERICA. Veronica approaches a clerk and starts her speech about how she's looking for a girl who would have come in in the last couple of months, and she's playing the part so hard from the first word that you can almost see the [small voice] [/small voice] tags around her speech. The saleswoman asks for more information, and when Veronica says that the girl's head would have been completely shaved, the woman steps on my joke by being all, "Oh. Chemo." Mine was better. Veronica nods in hilariously sincere agreement, and runs with it as she says that the girl gave up on treatment and ran away from home. This gets the saleswoman's attention, and she recalls a girl from a month earlier, but balks when Veronica doesn't know her name. Veronica, pulling out all the stops: "Ma'am! She's run away. She's scared and she's alone. We don't even want to know how she's making her money. She's given up on life." Hilariously overwrought music plays as Veronica continues to go for it, railing that not knowing where she is or "what name she's using" (niiiice) is torture: "She's my sister!" The woman goes cold: "I'm sorry. This girl was Hawaiian." I'd point out that Veronica could have pulled out the "She's adopted" card here, but if she had, we wouldn't have gotten the mournful plinking of a single piano key letting us know that the jig is up. Anyway, Veronica -- having told more lies in this one outing even than her weekly quota -- bails...

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Veronica Mars

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