Veronica Mars
Versatile Toppings

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 1 USERS: A+
What Are You Doing With That Pepperoni?

Hannah's reading in a full classroom when Logan enters and gives the teacher a note.

Cut to the hallway, from which Logan grabs Hannah and pulls her into an empty science classroom. She asks what he's doing, and he smiles, "It depends. What are you gonna let me do?" I don't know, but if your balls are involved in any way, I'd check first to see how painful the footwear that Hannah's sporting looks. Hannah informs Logan that her dad told her about the bridge, but Logan straight-up says that her dad is a liar, and wasn't even there. But for anyone who thinks Logan's truly coming clean with her, I'd point out that he says he didn't know who Hannah's dad was when he met her at the carnival, which seems eminently false, if only from the way he was so expectant when Dr. Griffith showed up. Logan adds that Hannah's dad is a cokehead, and in deep to the Fitzpatricks. Well, it's nice to see that Logan isn't going for the clichés like candy and flowers, but I think this approach to winning a girl's heart might have a few problems all its own. He says that the Fitzpatricks are the ones who really wanted Felix dead. Noting Hannah's torn expression, he urges her to think about what he's said, and also to check around the house. Man, is Logan a dick. If he weren't such good TV, I'd have to...write mean things about him? It occurs to me I don't really have a whole lot of other options.

Mars Investigations. Keith triumphantly shows Cook the pictures and tells him about the cell phone jamming, but Cook tells him that the pictures show he was in a private meeting with Lobo, who's an unsavory character in the sports betting world: "If I admit that I was in his office, I make myself the next Pete Rose." Rather than pointing out that being the next Pete Rose might be preferable to being the next O.J. Simpson, Keith suggests that they take the photos to Lamb, and that Keith will use "a little leverage" to make sure the photos don't get out. Are they gonna arm-wrestle? Because that would be cool!

Parking lot. Veronica spies a silver car with the vanity plate "Kuzzikan." Just like that, she's in the car with Kelly, telling him that he didn't get mugged. He admits that, and she surmises that he needed to make some fast cash: "You're gay, aren't you?" Kelly looks around like he never thought of it that way. Given what he said to Dick earlier, that seems very possible.

Klosetkar. Kelly asks what Veronica wants, and Veronica asks him why he acts the way he does. Kelly says he just wants to survive high school. Of course, quitting a team sport might make coming out less intimidating, but maybe he's seen The Broken Hearts Club and is just planning for the future. Veronica catches us up: Kelly hocked his rims (heh heh heh) to pay the blackmailer, used the pizza-mugging story as cover, and collected the insurance money and bought new rims. Kelly: "Sounds bad when you say it." Well, that may be, but it'd be ten times worse coming out of Kylie's mouth. Kelly tells Veronica that if people find out about him, he's dead, and I have to admit that his resigned tone is kind of heartbreaking. Veronica tells him that she won't out him, but asks to see the email. Kelly says it's from a "Rick Santorum," and that would normally be only hilarious, but is actually side-splitting in the context of this episode if you click this link I came across. (But it's gross, so be warned.) Kelly adds that "Santorum" gave him an address, which surprises Veronica. Honey, I just gave you his address too.

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Veronica Mars




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