Veronica Mars
Versatile Toppings

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 1 USERS: A+
What Are You Doing With That Pepperoni?

Pizza place. Veronica establishes that Ryan and Corny were mugged in the same part of town, and that no one at the addresses they were going to had actually ordered a pizza. Veronica asks if they happen to know who lived at those addresses, and Corny takes this opportunity to tell us that the girl he was delivering to is really hot, and that he was hoping she'd answer the door in her "unmentionables." The look on Ryan's face indicates that he considers that euphemism for the girl's undergarments even more a propos than one would have expected. Veronica shakes off the stoner horniness (storniness?) and asks Ryan for a list of names and addresses the mugger used. I can't imagine that's going to be of much interest to me. Also, Corny mentions that the pizza place is Cho's, for those of you who like extra continuity on your pies.

Neptune High. Dick and Logan walk down the hall as Dick babbles that he's not letting some girl use one of his boards: "I'd sooner let her paddle out on my mother." That's not really telling us much about how strongly he feels, because knowing Dick, he'd probably find that scenario strangely hot. Dick continues on that they should invite whoever the girl is to Cabo, and I assume he's talking about their annual Mexico trip. I somehow doubt that Beaver will be invited this year, an idea that's balanced by the vague suspicion that he doesn't give a flying fuck. Dick and Logan blow by Hannah, who chases after them offering them "spirit paraphernalia." Dick's neutral enough toward Hannah, but Logan tosses a bill into the container she's holding with a mumbled "Thanks," and then ignores her completely. Hannah watches him go fondly, smiling as she realizes that she feels like the most special girl in the whole wide world...oh, no, wait. The complete opposite of that.

Veronica enters her office, and as she's washing her hands, Kristin Cavalleri (or "Cavallari"; she's listed both ways) enters and tells Veronica that she needs her help: she's being blackmailed. Veronica's surprised, prompting "Kylie" to blabber, "Sorry to blow your mind, but I'm a lesbian, Veronica." Honey, your delivery is so flat that you could tell me Kevin Covais is going to win American Idol and my mind wouldn't be blown. (Not that we need to test that theory, really.) Kylie hands over the blackmail note and says that she doesn't have that kind of money. Veronica instructs her to respond to the email and ask for another twenty-four hours, and that she'll handle the cash and drop-off. Kylie closes her eyes and smiles in relief, only she totally jumps the gun on it so it looks like she's thrilled that she's getting to ask for an extra day. "Nice" "acting," there. Kylie thanks Veronica, as Veronica gives her the same weird face she gave Ryan. Either she's bummed about the gay kids getting blackmailed, or she's...not.

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Veronica Mars




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