Veronica Mars
Welcome Wagon

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 4 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
The Gang's All Here!

At the music venue, the three girls spy Wallace and Piz waiting for them. Veronica explains to Mac, "Our muscle. Short notice." Honey, what are you talking about? Wallace is ripped! And Piz...well, the calves are something, anyway. Parker asks if they're Veronica and Mac's boyfriends, and Mac gives this curt, snotty "No" that smashes passive and aggressive together so hard that all that's left of them is "paggrive." The poor things. Seriously, I'm not a fan of how Veronica behaved for a lot of the episode, but I think the problem was exacerbated by Mac's just being such a pill. So, your boyfriend couldn't have an open casket, and he's permanently ruined pancakes for you. Get over it! Anyway, introductions are made, and then Veronica faux-over-the-tops, "Are we ready to rock?" Mac's like, "No," and Wallace is all, "Not particularly." Veronica: "That's the spirit!" Despite the sarcasm bleeding from my TV, Parker gives a genuine "Woohoo!" Hee. I kind of love her.

Inside, some dude is "rocking" out on stage, and if this is what's being called punk these days, I can imagine the members of GWAR and the Dead Kennedys are in need of some serious therapy. More so than before, I mean. Of the non-Parkers in the group, Mac is ironically the only one who seems remotely to be having a good time, as the others look like they're in their first Rocks For Jocks class. Wallace particularly looks like he's about to chew through his own lip, but I think the music is too soporific to warrant that reaction. Parker, however, is dancing with some guys, and when Piz notes that she seems nice, Mac and Veronica give him a "The hell, you say" look. Uncalled for again -- she does seem nice, and regardless, what business is it of theirs if someone they've known for two seconds thinks someone else that all of them have known for two seconds seems nice? (Note to self: when taking characters to task, try to make sense.) The Unwashed, for that's who's playing, finishes its set, and Veronica gets up, saying that's her cue. Come on, Veronica! Show L7 how they do things in Neptune!

Veronica gets up on stage, gives it up for The Unwashed, and then tells everyone that her friend had everything stolen from the parking lot of "Bennis Hall"; she offers a hundred-dollar reward for any useful information. Veronica's arms, by the way, indicate that she bought out every temp tattoo place in a ten-mile radius. And if you've ever been to a coastal California town, you'll know that that would cost a pretty penny. ["Yeah? I thought she was in one of those sheer tattoo-sleeve shirts, though I don't know which of those two options would make Veronica more of a poser." -- Wing Chun]

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Veronica Mars

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