Veronica Mars
Welcome Wagon

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 4 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
The Gang's All Here!

Outside, Piz is telling Veronica and Wallace what happened: He pulled into the parking lot, and there was a heavyset girl with a clipboard wearing a Hearst sweatshirt and cap. She checked his name off a list, told him where his dorm was (...he didn't know already?), and said that she'd keep an eye on his stuff while he found his room. Also, she claimed to be part of the "Hearst Welcome Wagon Committee." Veronica lists the items Wallace told her he lost: his clothes, his computer, his guitar.... Piz interrupts her to say that it's not just a guitar, but a 1967 Gretsch Astrojet Red Top. Given Rob Thomas's musical history, I think I can let this one slip through without a fact-check. Piz goes on: "It's like the Holy Grail of guitars, okay? I spent two summers mowing lawns just to earn enough to buy it." Good luck on getting a deeper discount now.

Piz, Wallace, and Veronica get to Piz's car. Veronica: "They stole your stuff and covered your car in dirt?" Heh. She notes that the lock wasn't tampered with, and Piz says that's because it wasn't locked. Veronica: "College campus. All your worldly possessions. Where are you from, Brigadoon?" Looks like Logan threw in a musical-theater marathon too. I only wonder if Veronica raised an eyebrow at Logan skipping around the room when "I Feel Pretty" came on. ["Come on. Charles Bronson couldn't sit still through that shit." -- Wing Chun] Piz kind of endearingly babbles that he's actually from a suburb of Portland (Oregon, I'm assuming) called "Beaverton" (...um), and says that they're salt-of-the-earth, good New Deal types... "Where they never ask rhetorical questions?" Veronica asks. Heh. I have to say, I'm going to be busting on Veronica a fair amount in this recap for what I see as her overly...well, above-it-all attitude, but her interactions with Piz seem pretty friendly and genuine. Wallace notices that someone's written "unwashed" in the dirt on Piz's car, and then Veronica tells "Beaverton" that they should go talk to his RA...

...and just like that, they're watching said RA, "Moe," make tea as he's like, "All your stuff? Frack! That blows." Veronica is literally like, "Qu'est-ce que c'est?" Moe explains that "frack" is a curse word from the future taken from Battlestar Galactica. How silly -- why not use a real word, like "frell"? Anyway, Moe informs them that the Welcome Wagon Committee doesn't exist. Piz and Veronica look at each other, all, "Oh, shit." I don't really know why -- did they think a group existed that went around stealing from kids with the school's knowledge? Given the cost of a college education these days, you'd think that's a game on which the administration would want to keep a monopoly.

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Veronica Mars

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