Veronica Mars
Welcome Wagon

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 5 USERS: A-
The Gang's All Here!

Someone's getting out of jail, and that someone is Jason Beghe, last seen by me as Anne Heche's cuckolded and wheelchair-bound husband on Everwood. He also, however, played Gay Matt's HIV-positive Navy officer ex-boyfriend on Melrose Place. At first, though, I had him confused with the married guy who slept with Gay Matt, killed his own wife, framed Gay Matt for it, and then confessed what he'd done in his death throes. And that bit of confusion makes me realize more than ever that we have got to go back and recap that show. By the way, according to the IMDb, an interesting bit of trivia is that Beghe is partially responsible for getting David Duchovny into acting. I sense people's reactions to that news will be as varied as they are strong. Anyway, Beghe is playing, as we'll soon learn, the oft-mentioned but until now unseen Cormac Fitzpatrick, older brother of the charming Liam, and also partner-in-crime of Kendall Casablancas. Outside the prison, a car pulls up and stops in front of Cormac, and the driver is...Keith. Well, this may give us some answers as to what was in the briefcase. Of course, it'll turn out that Keith should have been more concerned with what is in the briefcase. Well, live and le...ooh, wrong expression. (Don't you love vague spoilers? Me too!)

Veronica's walking by when she happens upon the Take Back The Night rally. A black student, head shaven (although her head cap is only slightly less than blindingly obvious), is telling the crowd through a megaphone that the university's response to the crisis is inadequate: while it's true that the dorms are same-sex, she wants several other measures -- heightened security, better outdoor lighting, and most importantly, the closing of the frat houses. At that last bit, the cheers get mixed with boos from some frat boys. Veronica sees Mac, sidles up behind her, and is all, "Women. Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch." Mac laughs and asks why they can't just look pretty and get their "M-R-S degrees." My opinion? Inappropriately flip, given how close Veronica's been to this situation. I'm glad they're happy to see each other, though, especially given that Mac doesn't seem to be doing too hot, in more ways than one. After expositing that her shrink is close to giving up on her, Mac tells Veronica, "Irony of all ironies? Frozen From The Waist Down's new roommate? She's a one-woman red-light district." Mac actually sounds to me more lightly jealous than contemptuous here, not that that's going to last. Just then, some dickheads hold up a boom box, and then a guy wearing nothing but a ski mask and tighty-British-flaggies cartwheels (!) up to the leaders of the rally and starts getting jiggy with a mannequin wearing sexy underwear and hair that's meant to look shaved. Mac notes that it's like they never left their high school, and she's more on to something than she realizes, as anyone who knows what country the Cayman Islands are a dependency of probably sees where this is going, but the girls toss the guy to the ground, and two of them hold him down as another one knees him in the balls. Between Beaver's death and this incident, the prospects for another generation of Casablancases are dimming rapidly. Sometimes the universe knows what it's doing. Yes, the girl rips off the guy's mask to reveal Dick's face. Veronica: "It's exactly like we never left Neptune High." Dick's in too much pain to tell her not to step on my punchlines as we go to commercial.

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Veronica Mars




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