Veronica Mars
Veronica Mars

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A- | 883 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
He's As Cold As Ice!

Icetwin invites Veronica over to his house after school to "play detective." Be careful what you wish for, Icetwin. Veronica wonders how he can be so laid back, considering that if they don't find the car, the two of them will be done. Icetwin uses a somewhat melodramatic metaphor to indicate that he's given up, so they might as well enjoy the time they have together. Wallace butts in from out of nowhere to wonder why Icetwin's parents would punish him so severely. Geez, Wallace, how many of your parents' BMWs have you lost? None, I'd guess, from the fact that you're here and not in Timbuktu. And by the way, thanks for dropping by this week. Why don't you go see what Sydney Tamiia Poitier is up to?

Oh, here she is, giving instructions about the interviewing exercise. Some girl in entirely too much pink asks Veronica: "So, Miss Mars, how do you respond to the rumors that your boyfriend hooked up with strippers in Tijuana last weekend?" Oh, dear. Looks like someone brought a kitten's claws to a catfight. Veronica: "Miss Banks, have you decided which parent you're going to live with after the divorce? And if I may, a follow-up. Can you believe your father's choice in mistresses?" "Meeeeeow" doesn't really even do it justice, does it? Miss Dent asks to speak to Veronica after class.

Cut to said conversation, where Miss Dent babbles something about the lies we need to believe. Like, say, thinking that your presence adds anything to this show. Go away, Miss Dent. She does, and VMVO tells us that information is insurance: "With someone whose heart has already been crushed, I say: can't be too careful." She logs into the site she used to check up on Wallace earlier.

Mars Investigations. Veronica walks into Keith's office. Keith asks if, before they do whatever Veronica's got planned for his birthday, they could go to BSK's house for dinner. Veronica hands him an envelope and goes to sit at her desk. While Keith's still examining the contents, Veronica asks, "Did you know she was still married?" Oh, Veronica. Much like the Yankees' pitching performance, this ain't gonna be pretty. Props, though -- I thought she was going to check out Icetwin, not BSK. Keith says he did know, and points out that he's still married, too. Veronica adds on that BSK was arrested for passing bad checks, but Keith counters that that was when she was twenty-one. He asks what made Veronica think she had the right to check up on BSK. Veronica tells him that's what they do, and that she was trying to protect him. Keith half-yells that he's an adult. Veronica says that Keith's let BSK into their lives like it's no big deal, but Keith says that BSK makes him happy in a way he hasn't been in a long time, and that he and BSK tried to make Veronica feel comfortable, but that she "chose to be snotty." Nice pitch, Keith, but I ain't buying. I'm not saying that Veronica's doing a background check on BSK wasn't over the line, but she was pretty cool about the whole thing up until then, and I seriously don't even know what you're talking about when you say you tried to make her comfortable. I mean, walking into my kitchen to find my guidance counselor doing the best she can to fill my missing mom's shoes wouldn't exactly lower my blood pressure. Maybe it's me. Veronica urgently tells Keith that Lianne is still out there, and doesn't he care if she ever comes back? Keith makes the valid point that Veronica's been acting as though her mom is Public Enemy #1 for quite some time now. Veronica, half yelling and half crying, tells Keith that he can find anyone: "If she were a criminal, you would make a couple grand tracking her down and you'd have her back in a week!" Keith: "Well, maybe I don't care to find her. Have you ever considered that?" Oh, dear. And here I thought Veronica was going to be unbeaten in interviewing exercises today. Keith tells her that he's had Icetwin's security system turned on, gives her the code, and retreats into his office and shuts the door. Veronica puts her head in her hands. Sniff.

Veronica Mars

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