Viva Laughlin
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: D | Grade It Now!
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Drop The Pilot

Ripley comes home to Madchen entertaining Cheyenne and her boyfriend, Steve Rogers, played by the actor who was Spencer Halloway! Suri Cruise save my soul, I can't believe I remember that. He was so dreamy on that show. And rich. He is very polite, but Ripley is clearly put off by his age. To be honest, the years haven't been so kind to ol' Spence. And Ripley's acting a lot like the years. He tells Spence that his new casino has a great senior special that he might want to try. Spence and Cheyenne tell Ripley that they met in Shakespeare scene study class. Ripley asks what Spence (who reveals that he's 42) would want with an 18-year-old. I think the answer you're looking for is "Duh." Cheyenne reminds Ripley that he agreed to be civil, and he replies that "uncivil" would be Spence thrown through their patio door. If Spence is a drama professor specializing in Shakespeare, I'd imagine he has some pretty scary fencing moves, so I'd watch out if I were you, Ripley. I'd also call my agent and ask him why the hell he let me do this show. Then, I'd cry. Cheyenne decides that it's time for her and Spence to leave. Before he goes, he says that he respects Cheyenne, to which Ripley responds, "I bet it's too late for that, Shakespeare." Ew. And Madchen is just smiling. I don't get her. I mean, I get what stupid stereotype they've written as her character (the long-suffering wife of the hothead) but -- it just doesn't make sense in this context. Wouldn't she be at least a little worried about her daughter, or embarrassed by her husband's behavior? Something? ["Madchen Amick is pretty, but…limited. She's got a championship bitchface but I don't know why you would cast her in a role that doesn't call on her to use it." -- Sars]

That night, in the Holden boudoir, Ripley says that Cheyenne is punishing them and he just wants her to be a little girl forever. Then Madchen tries to get romantic with him. She's gorgeous. Ripley doesn't respond -- I imagine because of the financial dire straits he's experiencing -- but he doesn't tell Madchen why. So she just goes to sleep feeling rejected and like Ripley is keeping secrets from her. We don't pull that kind of shit in America, Ripley.

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Viva Laughlin

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