Viva Laughlin
What A Whale Wants

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Jeff Long: D | Grade It Now!
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I'm Not Standing Anymore

Peter and Mick are walking into the police station discussing the Baxter case. Apparently, Buddy had been hit hard on the back of the head before he was shot with a .45. Peter reviews their suspects, while putting on his office bulletin board the very elegant, expressive, and well-lit photographs that he took of them from his car at Buddy's funeral -- which most of the suspects apparently attended. Bunny Meredith Baxter is the first. Are they kidding with that shit? Also, the victim's full name was Buddy Ebsen Baxter. They say Bunny wouldn't have killed Buddy for his money, because he had "enough of it." Next is Marcus Delongpre, Nicky Fontana's henchman. Rumor has it that he "had a thing" with Bunny. Mick thought it was Ripley that had been with Bunny. Peter says that Bunny has "a lot of things." And it sounds like Laughlin has a lot of rumors. Jonesy is also a suspect. His alibi was that he was at home with his mom that night. The mom that he lives with. Mick and Peter find that disgusting. A lot of people are doing that now, guys. You shouldn't be so condescending about it. You never know what's in your future, like cancellation. The photo of Jonesy reminds me of a photo still from All The President's Men. Peter should really reconsider his career choice, for he is a surprisingly gifted photographer.

Then they put a picture of Natalie on the bulletin board. This is more like introducing us to the cast of the show than really reviewing the suspects. Does anyone really think that Natalie did it? Natalie is apparently saying that Ripley was with her all night. Mick's all, "Try lying for her husband all night." Seriously, though -- the people that wrote this…it's like they don't even care. Aren't there people who are good TV writers who don't have jobs on TV? That's what they're always saying at least, that there are tons of talented people but only a limited number of jobs. So how the hell did the RUBES that are writing this shit get their jobs? I realize that's a little unfair given the distillation that occurs when something is produced by a network or studio -- ideas are muted, rough edges softened, lowest common denominators satisfied -- but this is truly beyond the pale. Next, a photo of Nicky Fontana. Nicky wasn't at the funeral, but he was nice enough to pose for a headshot in his casino. He even acts like he doesn't know the camera is there, the little tease. Mick wonders if Nicky killed Buddy because he didn't like him doing business with Ripley, but Peter says that Buddy pulled his money from The Viva the day before he was killed. Then why did you put Nicky's wackadoo picture on the freaking bulletin board?! Forget us, Peter. Act like we're not here. Why don't you act like a police detective?

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Viva Laughlin

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