Viva Laughlin
What A Whale Wants

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: D | Grade It Now!
I'm Not Standing Anymore

Peter used his little fake-out about Nicky to introduce Ripley as a suspect. He had a motive because Buddy pulled out his money. Peter says they need to get Ripley's cell phone records to prove that he wasn't home the night of the murder. Because no one talks on their cell phones from home? Elementary, my dear Crapson. Mick says he's working on the cell phone records, but Peter tells him to work harder because murders are usually solved in the first 48 hours. So, if I kill someone and hide the body for two days, I stand a much better chance of getting away with it? One moment while I jot that in my "How To Deal With The Constantly-Arguing-With-Whiny-Voices Couple Next Door" journal.

Jack is working on his car, which is not the fancy Corvette he sold to help Ripley, when Ripley comes out to say hello. He asks Jack if he's disappointed, but Jack says no. Then he tells Jack that he's a good son. There are so many speech problems happening in this scene. PAGING KRISTEN LINKLATER. Total mumbling from Jack, and Ripley's accent is all over the place. Ripley leaves, and Jack continues to work. The socket from his wrench comes loose and rolls under the little red tool trolley that is in the garage (and which seems extremely handy!). When Jack retrieves the socket, he finds something in burlap, duct-taped to the bottom of the trolley. He gets it loose and unwraps it. It's a gun. I'm guessing a .45.

Crappy title sequence with John Tesh mini-theme.

At The Viva, Ripley finds Jonesy drowning his problems in some sort of liquor; I'm guessing gin. He read the review-slash-school board update in The Times and he thinks they're going there. His roommate/mom is the only person in the casino. She's playing slots, and gives Jonesy and Ripley two thumbs up when he mentions her. Jonesy says he's paying her. He doesn't think the casino can last more than a week in its current state.

Bunny shows up. She tells Ripley that she was "overwhelmed" when she tried to pin Buddy's murder on him. Buddy's will is being read the next day and she has decided to reinvest the money that Buddy pulled out into The Viva. Wait -- wasn't she the one that wanted the damn wind farms in the first place? WHATEVER, stupid show. Ripley says that he doesn't want her money. He started with nothing, so he doesn't need her.

Then he starts singing "I'm Still Standing" along with Elton John's voice. I hope Elton got paid a lot for this. Lloyd Owen is not a good singer. And oh yes, while he's singing, we see flashbacks to the old days. In 1983, he apparently met Natalie while he was working as a cashier at a convenience store. Meanwhile, Madchen Amick was like 13 in 1983. Next, Ripley is singing on the escalator and Bunny is waiting for him at the top. Lloyd Owen reminds me of every bad TV actor singing every bad song on the latter-day Bob Hope birthday specials. Next, we see a shot from 1989, when Madchen Amick should've been busy filming Twin Peaks. She's pregnant, and Ripley's all rubbing her belly and pointing at a sign that reads "Rip-Mart #1." So, that wasn't his convenience store he was working at in 1983? I guess he just got really inspired from working there. Flashback to 1994, when Jack was a little boy and they were opening Rip-Mart #6. Diane was already working for them then. 1997 was when they opened the thirteenth Rip-Mart. Jonesy had an afro then and popped a bottle of champagne, BECAUSE HE IS A DRUNK. Ripley really enjoys a grand opening celebration, it appears. This is a really good song.

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Viva Laughlin




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