Viva Laughlin
What A Whale Wants

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: D | Grade It Now!
I'm Not Standing Anymore

Jack brings some stuff to Cheyenne. He asks her if she thinks Ripley killed Buddy Baxter. She doesn't. Holly, Cheyenne's roommate, comes out in the weirdest state of undress. It's bizarrely unsexy. It's shorts and a camisole or something, but it looks like some weird unitard. Jack is transfixed. She mentions the party that they're going to that night, and Jack begs to go. Cheyenne lets him after he promises not to embarrass her.

Ripley, Jonesy, and a dolled-up Diane arrive at Nicky's casino. Ripley tells Diane that she has to suck Lenny in. She says, "Well, if he's that good-looking, I might do more than just suck." So, you suck people that you find ugly? Interesting standards. Marcus greets the three of them very coldly and bad-actor-ily. He's dreadful and telegraphs everything he's doing like three lines ahead of time. He says that Lenny is taking a break in the pool.

They arrive at the pool. It's a topless pool. Diane asks if she should take her top off. This chick is game. I like that. Also, I believe I'm hearing the beginning strains of "Fat-Bottomed Girls" by Queen. This could be good. Something good. Please let it be. As Jonesy is literally, like, retching -- and maybe that's because he knows Diane really well and doesn't think he should see her flippers, but it doesn't seem that way -- Ripley says that he couldn't let her do that. She's all, "Are you kidding me? These breasts are magnificent." There's something really amateurish about her performance that I actually kind of enjoy. She's not very good, but she's working it. It is Queen on the soundtrack. Diane struts poolside looking for Lenny. In slo-mo, she opens her dress to reveal a fuchsia bustier. She keeps pursing her lips in this bad-ass way that makes me laugh. She's all taunting the people sitting by the pool. It's such an odd choice, but at least it's interesting.

They see Lenny in the pool with four topless big girls. Marcus appears behind Ripley and says that he flew in some plus-sized models from L.A. Nice work. Diane asks Ripley again if she should take her top off, and he says he doesn't think it'll make a difference. Jonesy says, "You may have a pair of queens, Diane, but he's got a full house." Heh.

Buddy's will is being read by Cruz Castillo. His ranchero gets Buddy's collection of Stetson hats, which doesn't seem to make him very happy. The rest of his $43 million is left to his daughter, Geneva Baxter. That means that Bunny gets nada. Bunny didn't even know that he had a daughter, either. She's at the table, though, and it's -- Taryn Manning! I'm aware that she's a totally acquired taste, but…I've got the fever.

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Viva Laughlin




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