Star Trek
Voyager: “Threshold”

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C- | 7 USERS: C-
The One With The Salamander Sex
In a darkened part of the ship, a devious dude, with whom I'm not completely familiar, hooks a few things up, dials a number, and tells the person on the other end that he has thirty seconds before Security picks up his transmission. He tells the manky-haired Kazon on the other end that he's sending him all information regarding the warp ten flight. Whatever. If Voyager can't harness warp ten without fucking up, the Kazon have a chance of success that's as microscopic as the fleas living in their hair. Maybe it's a result of all that dehydration and dreds, but the Kazon don't strike me as being remotely intelligent. Or even very threatening, for that matter; I see them as watered-down Klingons. They've got the cranial ridges and they're always bellowing about death, battle, and honor, but they don't have the bloodwine, painsticks, or Worf, and that makes all the difference. The Vidiians, however, are an entirely different story. If they got their hands on warp ten technology, every single species in every single galaxy would become instant organ donors. To their surprise, of course. By the by, I totally dug the high-toned British accents on those horrifying Vidiians -- it's like they were on the Shakespearean phage. Speaking of "Phage," how much did I love it when the Doctor bitch-slapped Paris? I know he was making a point about Neelix's holographic lungs, but it did not lessen my enjoyment of the scene one jot. Not. One. Jot. Although, thinking about it, as much as Paris gets on my last sober nerve, I did find him enjoyable in "Time And Again." It's all because of that scene with the annoying brat asking him all the questions about their imaginary child. Paris finally shuts him up with "We ate him because we are demons and we eat children, and I haven't had my supper yet." He really sells it with his lunge at the pants-wetting brat. Devious Dude tells Rettick, the Kazon, that this should prove his loyalty to him. "We'll see," Rettik snaps, and hangs up to go mat more of his hair. Yeah, the Kazons suck as the big bad aliens, and the Vidiians are far more in sync with the freak factor. More effective, even, than the Borg -- especially if what I've heard about the Borg neutering in this series bears out. No, I loved that we were dealing with aliens who developed a technology specifically designed to locate and extract organs from other beings. It's like their dearest dream was to live the life as an urban legend. They just forgot the bathtub and the bucket of ice.

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