Survivor

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When It Rains, It Bores
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Last time on Survivor: DOES EVERY SINGLE PREVIOUSLY SEGMENT HAVE TO PROMINENTLY FEATURE LI'L RUSSELL??? I really don't get it. I watch this show to see a variety of contestants compete and scheme against each other. If they want to go this route, why not just give him his own reality show on the E! channel or something? And then Probst can make up all the stories about Li'l Russell he wants and Li'l Russell can talk about how awesome he is despite a lack of evidence over there and the rest of the contestants will have the chance to have personalities and camera time. It's win-win!

Galu returns home from Tribal Council, where Shambo interviews that she is shocked that Yasmin went home. This woman has no idea what is going on with anything, ever. She's feeling particularly discouraged (or as she calls it, "disparaged") because everyone else on her tribe voted for Yasmin, so clearly they're all in an alliance and she is not. She heads for bed while the wonder twins (particularly the older one who should know better) talk shit about her and how she is "silly" and "socially awkward." You know what isn't socially awkward? A thirty-nine-year-old grandmother who thinks she fits in with the hot twenty-somethings. Oh, wait. Awesomely, the younger wonder twin refers to Shambo as "Sham-boo" when she interviews that she knows Shambo voted against her, so she wants her gone next. I guess Russell was smart to vote with the majority after all.

The next morning, Erik attempts to bathe himself in the ocean, only to get his ass kicked by a wave. Waves and clotheslines -- what will this mighty warrior succumb to next? "This ocean is a real bitch," he complains. Then there's like two minutes of filler shots of the ocean, so it looks like this is going to be a really slow episode.

The people of Foa Foa also notice that the ocean has been acting up lately. Ashley worries that there's a storm coming while Liz stupidly giggles something about the ocean washing their flag away. Jaison attempts to remain optimistic for, like, the first time this season as Mick arrives with the treemail -- it's time for a gross food challenge! Hooray! I miss those! The clue talks about how the ocean provides plenty of edible "treats" that the contestants will have to eat without barfing. "We're gonna have to eat gross like stuff from the ocean," Liz says. Way to put it together, Liz. What is her deal? She can't possibly be this dumb. She was much smarter in the first episode. Is her body eating her brain or something? Mick is hoping the gross ocean food will be fish or shrimp, but Liz says it'll probably be "Samoan rat." Because those come from the ocean. Moron. Ashley interviews that she's an "experimental eater," so she hopes she'll do well in the challenge and prove herself useful to her tribe full of assholes.

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Survivor

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