Wasteland
Double Date

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Wendola: D | Grade It Now!
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Double Date

After Callbacks closes, Vandy thanks Jewels for making his song sound good (not like she even gave him any credit while she sang the damn thing). Vandy starts playing the piano, and Jewels starts singing, and Vandy joins in, and for God's sake they're suddenly the Captain and Tennille. They don't see Sam walk in (hello? the bar's closed!), but she knows what a duet means, and if she sticks around in the dark corner long enough she's going to have to sing "On My Own," so she gets the hell out.

Dawnie comes home from her date. Ty's on the living room couch. They ask about each other's dates, and finally Ty says he had a terrible time. Dawnie says she had a perfect date, but she has no desire to see Antonio ever again. "Why?" asks Ty. Dawnie says he did all the right things, "but the whole time I was with him, I didn't know who he was." Well, if you didn't spend so much time doing schmaltzy prom-night activities, then maybe he could have taken a moment, say, on the dance floor, to open up about his parents' divorce, and his theories on reincarnation, and his most traumatic childhood memory, and moreover I believe there were plenty of times when you could have GONE THROUGH HIS POCKETS. Anyway. "Do you really think we didn't go on a date in college?" asks Ty. "I don't know," says Dawnie, "I guess it all depends on how you look at it." Ty brings up the fact that the only thing that Russell could think of to say about Ty was that he was a soccer player in college. "I've been sitting here trying to think of one worthwhile thing I've done in my life," he says. Well, Ty, you haven't been in any disfiguring accidents, and you've found plenty of pants that enhance your butt, and you haven't been in any disfiguring accidents, and that's good enough for most of us. But Ty tells Dawnie that the only thing he could come up with as a worthwhile achievement was that he went out with Dawnie. Ty smiles bravely, Dawnie takes it as a compliment, and everyone else wonders how Ty, alas, can live with that fact.

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