Wasteland
Double Date

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Wendola: D | Grade It Now!
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Double Date

Dawnie stomps off into the living room, where we can see more of her dress. It's backless, so clearly she's not wearing much under it, and she turns to the side and -- yikes! Dawnie! We said you should wear a dress FROM the Gap. From! Not WITH a gap! Under each arm! Jeez! Russell comes in and asks her what's wrong. She's flashing us some major side ventilation, that's what's wrong! But really, Dawnie's nervous that her date will be "some kind of Star Trek geek who lives with his parents and raises ferrets." She sits on the couch and pouts. I see her point, because that dress is so not ferret-proof. Russell calms her down until the doorbell rings. Meanwhile Ty comes out from the bathroom and he sits down and tries to look casual reading a newspaper. Dawnie walks to the door with dread, opens it, and it's -- ANTONIO! Well, his character is named "Jack," but yes, it's Antonio Sabato, Jr. Who somehow needs a dating service. Like the underwear ads somehow weren't a good way to meet people. Antonio hands Dawnie a bouquet the size of a sheaf of rye, and Dawnie whispers "thank God!" and hands the bouquet to Russell and waves goodbye to Ty and flashes an actually-really-hilarious oh-my-God look on her way out the door. "Wow," says Russell, after they've left. He looks over at Ty, who really is now Mousse Man.

Jesse gets out of a cab to meet her date, "Ken." He says he's wearing a thong. Everyone knows from experience that there'll be yet another Love Interest Smackdown from Jesse "The Bodice" Pressler before the end of the episode, so let's not even bother with this, okay?

Meanwhile, Russell and Ty walk into a restaurant where Justin and Felicia Frinkle are already seated. Felicia tries to kiss Ty in a little greeting but he backs off -- probably due to the fact that she now looks like the lead in an all-drag Mariah Carey revue -- and kisses her hand instead.

Meanwhile, the DA's office is dark, but Sam is still there trying to organize receipts by size and color or whatever. Vince is leaving for the night, but at the last minute he softens up and stays and orders Chinese food. Aw.

Meanwhile, Antonio opens the door for Dawnie at Chez Fancy-Ass.

Meanwhile, Wendola thinks about taking up smoking again.

Ty brags about Russell to Justin: "Russell here has been nominated for Soap Opera Digest Award." Then Russell brags about Ty to Felicia: "Ty is a -- uh -- he's, uh --" Hot, okay? Will everyone just come out and say why he's here? Instead, Russell just says Ty "was a soccer player in college." Whatever. Hot.

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