You might want to cover your ears and sing loudly to yourself while you read the following sentence: "Dawnie and the girls have a three-way of their own." Anyway, Dawnie is upset about the way Russell and Vandy are letting Ty back into the Wasteland Gang. She insists that Jesse and Sam help her intervene. Jesse says Dawnie should get over it. Dawnie says she needs time. Sam just sounds like a moron because she's trying to lose her accent right that very minute, and she has to say each word three times, and it's not even funny. Dawnie bitches some more. Jesse says, "I met a guy!" "We're talking about me," snarls Dawnie. At this point, I think Sam can use whatever accent she damn well pleases, as long as she uses it to say, "Shut up, Dawnie." Instead, she says that they'll all support Dawnie and declare Ty off-limits as a friend. They agree to meet for Game Night at Jesse's. Then they all hang up.
Then Jesse calls Sam back and tells her that she invited Ty. Sam tells her to try to call and cancel. "Can't the guy be our friend?" complains Jesse. "Not if you want to live," says Sam. I'm getting really tired of always hearing how Dawnie will kill them, like she's holding the total Cheek Slap Of Coercion over them all.
There's a commercial for "Fa," which is "a refreshing European bodywash." And, if you're Sam, it's also the word for "fire."
Okay, this is not a retraction, but I guess this loft we saw in the very beginning of the last episode was maybe actually Jesse's loft, because here it is again. My bad -- how silly of me to think that the place where one is shown eating breakfast is actually the place where one LIVES, and also, what made me assume that more than one person lived in an apartment that's about the size of a Barnes & Noble? But while this loft is the same loft from last episode, it's now in a totally different building.
Anyway, at Jesse's Loft Where Everyone Else Just Acts Like They Live There, Dawnie is going through Jesse's purse while Russell looks on. Russell's like, "Jesse let you do this?" And I'm like, Dawnie's thesis advisor lets her do this? Dawnie takes out a wallet, a pack of cigarettes, then a couple of flavored condoms. "Now what does that mean?" asks Russell. Uh, that Jesse's not quite fasting tonight, perhaps? Ew. Dawnie just rattles off tiresome theories about instant gratification and Jesse's need to be superficial, blah blah. Russell jokes about her assignment and Dawnie says, "You're lucky I'm even talking to you!" "This is going to get old," says Russell. ("It already has." -- Sars) Dawnie takes something out of Jesse's purse and throws it at him. "You can count on it," she says, as the Tampon Of Terror hits Russell in the face.