Wasteland
Empty Pockets

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Wendola: D | Grade It Now!
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Empty Pockets

Jesse savors a cigarette out on her roof. Agent Ben comes out and joins her. "I didn't know you smoked," he says, a little disapprovingly. And we didn't know that your creepy unbuttoned Siegfried-Without-Roy look was considered appropriate dress for the High Holy Days. Jesse says she doesn't usually smoke, she's just starving from all the fasting. "You know," says Agent Ben, "Yom Kippur is about abstaining from everything, not just food." They flirt about what "everything" may and may not mean. Agent Ben, for instance, seems to be abstaining from neckties, undershirts, and fashion sense in general. The flirty banter gets more intense until finally Jesse and Agent Ben are sucking face with squishy sound effects.

Ty and Dawnie argue in the bathroom. Ty insists they have to try and get along, but Dawnie says some things aren't meant to be forgiven or forgotten, "So if you're really as changed as you claim to be you will respect my wishes." "And your wishes are?" asks Ty. In her most ominous Dawnie-Of-The-Dead voice, she tells him that she wants him out of her life completely. Sadly he agrees, and he really does go, and walk out the door, and just like in that song, she says, "You're not welcome anymore!" She sobs just one little sob as the scene fades out, but do you think she'll crumble? Do you think she'll just lay down and die?

Next day. Jesse is at work, all excited about having had sex with Agent Ben the night before. Oh, that crazy shiksa! She calls Dawnie and Russell's answering machine and shouts, "We did it! Me and Ben. It was great!" Please shut up. Then she calls Sam at work, but according to another secretary who answers, "that chick from the South" isn't in yet. Jesse tells the secretary to take a message saying "Jesse did IT!" and wastes a bunch of New York City tax dollars in the process. Sam comes in at last, and in her effort to greet Vince with a New York accent she winds up sounding like S-Dog, The Gangsta Seckrataree: "Yo-a Vince! Howzit goin?" Vince is like, "What?"

Jesse and Russell eat salad and chat even more about the theme of tonight's episode. They figure out "everyone's afraid of the truth." And also, "everyone's living a lie." Whatever.

Sam's accent be so wack that she runs to Vandy's bar for emergency dialect coaching. It appears that all Sam needs to do is say "oh my darling Clementine" a bunch of times, but Vandy tells her she needs to do more. "You have to connect in here," he says, pointing to his heart, "and then you have to want to let it go." And that accent will just run, run to the light. But Sam doesn't want to lose who she is! Vandy assures her she won't, and I agree that there are plenty of other ways she can be annoying. Somehow in all this, they start kissing, but Sam shoves him off and before Vandy can apologize she skitters out the door in her high heels.

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