Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
This Day By the Lake

Andy is still in Bubbeh's house with a crazy fake beard and some pot and beer weight 'round the middle. He looks like a better-bred Zach Galifianakas, or the gay dude on Lost when he had that fake-ass beard. What he is doing is playing Ms. Pac-Man, apparently for the last six months, while going crazier and crazier. Silas comes in to poke the crust of him, and I think it's only the ghostly menace of Ms. Pac-Man's ethereal antagonists that keeps him from going full-on "You're an errand boy sent by grocery clerks" and that whole thing. Silas is amazed. I just wonder what he smells like.

Andy gives a short, very scary intense speech about how Ms. Pac-Man truly understands him, and they're in the kind of sync that doesn't require words, and how with a gentle touch of his hand she responds, and the like, and Silas explains that he is in two kinds of trouble. First, Uncle Andy is going bughouse. Second, the cop who is extorting him is also going bughouse. He asks how much money Andy has left after his trip to Hobo Copenhagen, and Andy says like a couple grand. Because he had to buy a mannequin with a robot head, and Ms. Pac-Man, and a surfboard, and a foosball table, and whatever shit. And of course, the General Lee.

Which is now sharing the garage with Celia, who is either a fulltime soccer ref or a part-time employee of Foot Locker, which for obvious reasons we're not calling Foot Locker. She makes her way around the racist orange car and into the house, where Isabelle is spray-tanning a nearly nude Doug, who explains that she has to do it because she's the only one in the house that wouldn't get turned on by it. What house? The House That Nancy Built. And has now abandoned.

But at least -- and looking at these poor assholes right now, it's admittedly hard to justify -- at least she took the one in greatest crisis with her. Celia begs Doug for a ride to work, since Andy's in disturbia right now, but he can't smudge his fake-tan -- which looks like hell, just absolute hell -- or else people will know it's fake. Because normally people come in a pressboard walnut faux finish. Isabelle points out that her option is to enjoy the walk to the bus stop, which of course she can't do, because she wears designer heels with her striped uniform until she gets to work, and only then puts on the sneakers. Which sounds crazy until you hear Celia's explanation -- "Sneakers are the footwear of my corporate oppressor, Isabelle" -- and then just sounds retarded.

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