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Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now!
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A Pool And His Money

Celia, having bathed and sobered up, finds Isabelle and Dean eating their ice cream and hatefully ignoring her altogether. She takes off without even getting a goodbye from them; on the news, they're talking about the Amber Alert, even though Shane's already been found.

The suspicious NASCAR couple watches bloody Andy get some chocolate milk before heading back to the station to pick up Shane. They menace and grill him about the Amber Alert, and he tries explaining how he called it in, then found the van abandoned when they picked Shane up. Andy swears that he's on the way to pick up the kid and doesn't have him stashed in the van or anything, but they don't believe him. They promise to call the cops and double-check...but only after they beat the crap out of him. You know, if you'd asked me a year ago how I'd feel about two solid episodes where Andy Botwin drives around getting the hell beat out of him, I'd have applauded and then asked when that smokin' Israeli chick was coming back. But now?

Speaking of people I can't even hate anymore, Silas gets chatty at the station with Shane, who explains that he got ten blocks before they pulled him over for "going too slow...and being twelve." He admits he had no idea where he was going, and Silas identifies strongly. He sweetly assures Shane that they will all hate each other for a while, but implies that it will pass, and gives him a pat on the arm.

Grow house, where U-Turn notes that Nancy looks like hell. Which I guess is true? Except it's Nancy, for whom looking less than gorgeous would be harder than making Celia less than totally awesome at any time. So it's a provisional kind of hell that she's looking. Marvin fills U-Turn and Conrad in on the destruction of the milfcrop, and there is much worrying and shouting. Heylia produces the cash to buy U-Turn out, and he makes a sick-ass mistake by shouting at her for speaking out of turn. His ass is going to pay for that. Heylia explains that she's there to pay Conrad's debt -- Nancy can, of course, go fuck herself -- and U-Turn says he doesn't want any cash for Conrad: he wants "the goose that laid the golden milfweed" as an employee.

Conrad resists, but U-Turn offers to shoot him in the head. Heylia grabs Conrad and heads out of there; Nancy tries to leave with them but it's decided that she still owes U-Turn $150K. She mumbles desperately that they're all together, which would be nice, but is not the case. Heylia drags Conrad off, and U-Turn fills in the blanks that Nancy is now all alone. Conrad, unable to do anything more, gives Nancy the empty gun and they smile sadly at each other. She's scared to death; after they leave, she nearly collapses. Marvin worries slightly about her status, but U-Turn takes the gun away and then threatens to kill her family and leave them all floating in her pool unless she produces the money. He takes all her cash out of her purse and notes her home address, then leaves her twenty bucks for emergencies, or like frozen yogurt or whatever. Clinique rejoins them, pronouncing Sanjay "gayer than a handbag full of rainbows," and we pan to him totally traumatized in the other room.

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