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Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1524 USERS: B-
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The Tiger in The Box

She misses him, kinda hopes they might get back together one day when she gets caught. Her apologies are real, and then on top of that they're a joke about apologies, and then on top of that they're just a phone call, one acquaintance to another, like she's setting up a lunch date. Like he'll open the box and she won't be a traitor and she won't be a kidnapper, just his wife that loves him so much -- that it was the other woman who tore them apart. She was right beside him all the time.

As Andy plays with the switches and dials of the car, pissing her off more and more, she continues in this almost under-control tone: "Um, I'd love to talk to you about it and apologize directly. And I'd also really love to talk to you about Shane. You knew that was gonna get my attention. Boy, you were right!"

As Andy turns on the A/C, blowing her hair back like a movie monster, she slips a little. Then a lot. "Kidnapping your baby boy's brother? Really? Solid move, Padre of the Year! Shitty fucker! You macho cowboy asshole!" Andy waves at her words like they're gnats, and she calms down again, back to the hatefully sweet tone: "Hope to hear from you soon. I'd ask Shane how to disable the caller ID, but -- oops -- he's been kidnapped. So, um, please call this off. Please call me back. Okay? And I'm... Sorry."

She's sorry. But Shane's gone, and he did it. Mike asks if they're allowed to talk about handing the kid over, and Andy -- applying mascara to his cheeks like a linebacker -- assures him that would just be crazy. She assures him the warpaint isn't necessary, because they're not invited to her showdown and besides that, he looks like Rum Tum Tugger.

Andy's not impressed. "Cesar and I have a rapport. He's got his icy stare, I've got my melty eyes... We're frenemies." I don't remember Cesar hating Andy quite as much as Ignacio did, but I also don't remember Cesar showing much more emotion than a pet rock at any point, so maybe that's not the best measure. Mike's still on the whole kick-the-kid-loose plan. "I could go to college... Shane could become one of those good serial killers, who only kills other serial killers..."

Nancy tells him to open up, fine, fuck it. Mostly just to tell him he's being an ass, but also because she's thinking. Not happening, but they could discuss the possibility. "Parallel universe: A boy and his father? We could stop running." Andy, voice very serious, points out that Stevie's their brother. Mike corrects him: "Stevie's a timebomb." A little knife, that keeps them on the run. If not for Stevie, they'd have been dead a long time ago; but if not for Stevie, there would be no Audra. Nancy would still have all of her men lined up, just where she likes them, if it weren't for Stevie.

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