Said it before, say it again: Old horny guys are old and horny. It's right there on the package. And if you didn't spend at least part of your twenties in a Dennis Cooper novel, you'll have no stories to tell when you are yourself old and horny. There are way stupider ways to make a buck. Know where the exits are, carry a gun, and see what happens, because the world is your oyster and they're not getting any younger. Or less creepy. Frankly I would have turned Silas-Mike's ass out the second he turned 18 because let's be honest, he is a full-on resource. As long as you're running guns you could at least float the idea.
Shawn's stroller immediately breaks down, and he heads into a high-end baby shoppe like the one his mum ran in another life. Turns out that they carry exclusively the Yippity! line at this place. "We got the Yippity! Sport, the Yippity! Deluxe... And our best-seller, the Yippity! Dragon." As a person who has done this dance of death many a time and can now visualize how many buttons you have to push just looking at it from twenty paces, the Dragon is clearly worth the $800. It should be called the Yippity! Sex Machine.
Yeah, you can get one of those umbrella-looking foldy things for about twenty bucks, but you're going to hate not having handlebars or anywhere to put your iced latte. And if you don't mind your kid's fingers getting chopped off and littering the streets and gutters of Williamsburg. And forget about somewhere to stash that Kindle, unless you don't mind the smell of baby barf, or have one of those rare babies whose crap treats gravity like a law and not just a suggestion to rebel against.
For $100, Shawn can get the Yippity! Sippity, which is the iced latte-holder with which one can customize his or her Yippity! device. Shawn tries to fight the power, but since he's not yet old enough to work the fellas like the rest of his family, it's a losing battle. So he Shawns out and makes fun of the guy's job instead. The guy unleashes just a barrage of topical Weeds-type soccer mom jokes about our timely times and the housing market and online Scrabble and lap-band surgeries and like the World of Warcraft, and takes off. Even for this show, it is a heady gumbo of suburban wink-wink.