They're holding Doug's face in a fishtank -- Whence? I guess Judah-Andy's spending spree -- but he won't tell them where the Botwins went, because he doesn't know where the Botwins went, because he doesn't know anything. However, his dialogue is about ten times cleverer than usual, so he gives the illusion of knowingness. "I was having a really good day. I won ten bucks on a scratcher. Oh, a day can turn so fast..."
Cesar and Ignacio are of the opinion that Doug is "their close friend," as though they have those or have ever had those, and he reminds them how the Botwins are selfish assholes, so they offer to cut off a testicle. Correctly, Ignacio is worried about the concept of touching Doug's balls, and frankly thinks it's weird that Cesar doesn't share this concern.
Doug points out that he came to the ransacked and abandoned Ren-Mar house with a bucket of chicken and "that Crispin Glover movie with the retarded people," which is really sort of awesome, or at least too awesome for Doug, and he whines for awhile, and they finally just decide to kill him: "We believe you. Congratulations." Doug whines for a moment -- "Winning is supposed to feel good!" -- and then pulls out his phone, spooking the assassins.
Doug has Andy's number listed as "Andy Buttwank" -- which Ignacio thinks is really clever -- and so then he calls whatever Seattle hobo happened to find Uncle Randy's phone when Andy died. (Although that's confusing, because didn't they toss their phones at the border? Whatever.) So Doug pretends that he's chatting with Andy, but really it's this ass-crazy bearded fellow who says funny things in response to the bizarre things Doug's pretending to say.
"I'm sitting in a world of shit, brother... Caught a cat yesterday..." Doug's like, "Sounds awesome!" Doug learns that Andy's phone is in an alley in Seattle, decides that's probably close enough that he might still manage to get their entire family murdered, and then tosses the phone in the fishtank. "I know where he is, I'm not gonna tell you, and if you torture me again I'm just gonna lie, so you have to keep me alive, so I can lead you to him." Not even Doug can believe he worked that one out so quickly, or that it worked.
Mostly I'm just super glad Doug is back, because he brings the constant and charming and ever-so-grown up ballsack faggot dicksucking buttwank anal beads talk with him wherever he goes, as you'll see. In fact, we're going to drink every time somebody says any of those sweaty tacky words in this episode. You will be quite drunk by the end. This is because of Doug.