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Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1775 USERS: B
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The Prime of Miss Nat Newman

Then Nancy paces around the room going, literally this is what happens, Danger danger danger danger danger, which is sort of brilliant and puts you in a serious position of having to feel as nervous or nervouser, watching it all go down. Nancy like grabs the crossbow and aims it at the door and opens it... Only to be wrestled to the floor by a very angry Latrice, who not only was mugged by this lady but also had her feather earring torn out in the process, to wit: "Now I can't wear earrings. When you ain't got no hair, that's your flair!"

Latrice's helpful friend Quenton points out that "bitch have ear flaps now," and but before Nancy can even get up off the floor -- having shot a bolt into the bathroom door -- they start knocking on the door, louder and louder. Who is they? Oh, the Sheriff's Department.

Quenton runs off into the adjoining suite, because he has warrants, and Latrice -- still in costume -- pretends to angrily clean the motel room, and Nancy puts the crossbow in the Yippity! Dragon, hidden by a blanket. The deputy is joined by Rebekah of the Mommies, a deaf CPS lady, and her interpreter. Nancy's cracked-out look and nosebleed continue contributing to the awesomeness. Rebekah is still bitching about getting sperm from Randy, who walks out into the room naked and holding Stevie, giggling: "He peed on my pee! We crossed streams!" CPS clearly realizes she has not in fact seen it all, before today. Andy cups himself and acknowledges the weirdness, and there is much staring. Nobody knows what to do in this situation because there has never been this situation.

Shane's phone calls Nancy's phone, and she asks poor naked child-molesting Uncle Andy to somehow deal with the cops while she ducks into the adjoining suite -- where Quenton is crouching behind the TV -- so she can take the call. Latrice joins her so she can bitch him out in greater detail ("You have ruined something beautiful, you dumb motherfucker!") before moving on to yell at Nancy. Nancy screams a near-indecipherable FUCK OFF and locks herself in the adjoining suite's bathroom, where Shane -- tied up in Cesar's backseat now, with Doug -- admits the fuckers got him.

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