Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
The Prime of Miss Nat Newman

Silas, rhapsodizing: "Why didn't anybody tell me how awesome college is?" Because he was never going to go, Shane explains: "It would just be mean, like telling a blind person how awesome colors are." Silas gets defensive about his intelligence, pointing out how he started his own business and even reads books now. "To old dudes in your underwear," Shane snarks, and Silas shakes a pickle at him. "That's it, you're going down!" Five, four... "Is that what the old man said?"

Silas hurls the pickle at his brother and he bats it away. "Catlike reflexes!" he giggles, and Silas says it's fine, since Shane's a pussy. "Tell that to Pilar," Shane says. Yikes. But maybe that has something to do with his willingness to take on the Mommies? Like, once he realized you can just fuck up any old lady that tries to control you, it's a short jump to just assuming that you should. Lot easier than taking any of it out on his mom, no matter how well-deserved. Nothing more insidious than heroism.

Not that far away, but apparently just beyond the reach of Shane's catlike senses, the Mommies stare and whisper. The dumb one, Cheryl, assumes that they are doing it, because she's weird, after Rebekah pish-poshes the notion of them being brothers. "Whatever their relationship is, they are clearly not equipped to raise a baby... Oh my God, they just spilled croutons on his blankie. What if he's gluten-intolerant?" Cheryl's like, "What's gluten?" and Rebekah tells her to shut up before nearly knocking the dinner roll out of her hand: "NO BREAD." I miss Old Christine too.

Shane says that stealing video cameras and knocking up his deaf girlfriend, while "gangsta," is nothing compared to the rest of the family. "Face it, Silas. We're hardcore and you're PG-13. You're the blond sheep of this family." Not into winks at the fans generally, but even so, we're hitting a few of these pretty hard this year, aren't we? (Especially considering that the Silas gene pretty obviously occurred in Andy too, considering he looks the same almost-nothing-like Judah that Silas does the other ones? I sometimes/often/usually forget that my imaginary explanations are not the actual explanations. Carry on.) Additionally, Silas will not be returning to the hotel for work, because he is now a full-time pretend college student, taking a full pretend load and auditing even tiny little lectures without anybody noticing.

Oh good, Doug digging his own grave. In an episode full of highlights, this is but one. Usually I would be hanging my hat on the image, but not this time. And praying, Doug is praying, and crying. "I tried to read the Bible, I did, but it always felt like a much less awesome Lord Of The Rings..." Doug even hits a little of the old coffee table mindmeld with Andy about how he wants to believe in karma. " I would like to go to heaven, have drinks with cool people I never got to meet. Mom, James Dean, Harriet Tubman, Dad, Patrick Swayze. I can't die like this. I always wanted to be buried with my banjo, and snacks, and heartbroken women and dogs throwing themselves on my grave."

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