Weeds

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Dead In The Nethers

Conrad meets Nancy at the bakery site -- it's the old Indian place, as Conrad recognizes the smell of vindaloo. He's delivering Nancy's weekly buy, because she's still wary of Heylia's house on Drive-By Avenue. Conrad tells her to get over it quick, because he's no delivery boy. He asks her if she's got a place to store it and she's like, "Yeah. At home." Conrad thinks she's nuts for keeping weed at home when she's got two boys who could find it. Especially when she's got this shiny new store to keep it in. He then makes reference to the fact that Heylia can't get a small business loan for a store front like this -- only white dealers can. Nancy again objects to being called a "dealer," but Conrad notes that a "sexy spade is still a spade."

Botwins'. Lupita is having lunch with one of her housekeeper friends while Shane plays with the girl in this woman's charge. Lupita is complaining about the menopause again, but Housekeeper Friend wants to talk about how her cousin Alejandro tells her that Nancy is messing with his business. His weed-selling business. Lupita doesn't believe that her Mrs. is a drug delaer, but Housekeeper Friend is like, "Then how does she pay for all this?" "She's a skinny white lady in America," says Lupita. Of all the great things Bill Clinton did for this country, setting up a Skinny White Lady trust fund was indeed one of the greatest. Meanwhile, Shane puts a paper bag over his head, holds a plastic sword to his little girl playmate, and prepares to make a terrorist video. Have I mentioned lately: weird little fucker.

Elsewhere, Megan pays Silas a visit, and he saves us all a lot of time by admitting that he's an asshole. Megan smirks, pulls a pipe and a lighter from her back pocket, and types "Ur an asshole" on his computer. Megan sure does like to smirk, I'll give her that. It's what she does with her mouth when she not sucking on pipes or dicks.

Back at the soon-to-be bakery, Conrad is giving Nancy the lowdown on how to keep her weed on the down-low: a cedar-lined locker with a secret lock, for one thing, and turkey bags to store the weed she'll be unloading quickly. He's amazed she doesn't know these things already. Nancy's like, "I live in Agrestic. Do you know how to turn on the automatic sprinklers?" Aren't they...automatic? Isn't that the whole appeal?

Andy walks in on Silas and Megan smoking up (without knocking, Jesus Christ, Botwins -- I feel like Bill Jacks all of a sudden: "Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ!) and proceeds to give them an uncharacteristically harsh lecture on the stupidity of being 16-year-old burnouts. He peppers his talk with lots of 12-step language, but by the time he's finished, he tokes himself and then hands it back to the kids, telling them the pipe's pretty well kicked.

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