Weeds

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Dunbar's Number

Nancy gives him those snake eyes and heads for the door, finally asking how -- once he's free -- she knows he won't just come after her for ruining his entire life and whatnot. And again, he doesn't exactly answer, just says the two of them are like a YouTube video about how a tiger and a duck got confused and started thinking they were friends. "It seems okay, but you never really know, do you?" She smiles and leaves, because her entire life is turning tigers into ducks and ducks into tigers and then vanishing before they turn back. I think the reason I never felt I understood Nancy's relationship with Guillermo is that it's too impossibly large to fit my head around. Each facet -- hate, fear, affection, respect, attraction -- makes total sense, but try and see the whole thing at once and it just hurts.

Andy rubs Alanis's feet and she tells him the bones of her foot, then her leg, then calls him "Audra" and laughs about it -- which is chilling because of the free-form dread these two carry everywhere now, and because this whole season people have been turning into each other, sometimes with actual costumery, sometimes just inside, and always paying the price for it -- and then finally she just makes up her mind and kisses him.

Andy pushes Audra back onto the couch and goes to town, and she false-starts once before finally explaining that, having been too good for dating for a while, her battery-powered helpers have made it difficult to... She shuts up right about then, with his hand over her mouth, but they are startled by a tomato smashing against the window. "That didn't shoot out of you, right?" Andy asks -- which, I don't even know what that means, but then my experience with these things is slim -- but no, it's the protestors, who have followed the General Lee to Audra's house, led by Gale, who clearly has a thing for Audra and that thing is a Death Boner, and she's like, "Fuck, I have to move again."

Audra explains the obvious to Andy, which is that these people are nuts and retarded and armed, which makes them scary, so of course -- after years of training -- he immediately invites her to come stay with him, because when has Andy not said to danger, "Hey danger, come on in and watch some porn!" Then he gets back to work, which means eating her out on the couch while a million killers array themselves right outside the house, completely oblivious and laughing about how if she doesn't come, "the terrorists win." Is it 2002 already, or did that come all the way around again?

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