Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now!
Cheese Gotta Have It

Nancy agrees about needing coffee, but gets a fresh and exciting wakeup surprise in the form of a man guarding the hole. He's reading a book with a giant gun in his lap. Also a Danish. "Oh, a Mexican man with a machine gun. That looks like..." Celia stares at the hole. "... A nice pastry..." Nancy asks how long he's going to be there, and he says he's installed now todo tiempo. She introduces herself to the guy, Ignacio, and offers to get him some coffee. Nancy's deadpan sanguinity has always been her funniest and most endearing quality -- last week was probably my favorite episode ever, because she was so hilariously dead inside the entire time -- but she's really setting the mark high this season. He's already got coffee, anyway.

Nancy pushes the predictably freaking Celia back out into the hole. "What's in the hole?" Mexico. Mexico is in the hole. Celia starts to wig out, but Nancy knows well enough that the main thing is keeping Celia away from the hole. "You must never go there. ...Through the hole. You can drive to Mexico whenever you want, just be aware there's a very long wait to get back." She repeats it over and over until Celia becomes one with the concept of staying the fuck out of the hole. Now, a normal person probably you would not have to tell them this, but neither Celia nor Nancy are capable of seeing a giant hole guarded by a man with a machine gun and not falling into it, having sex with the man with the machine gun, or starting some other kind of random shit. The worst part about no Conrad, besides the resulting lack of Conrad, is they're flying without a net twice as bad. When they do whatever dumbass thing they do with the hole, Conrad won't come fix it. So it's good that they are staying away from the hole. Nancy reiterates that she saw nothing and went nowhere last night, but that the attractive man was not Ignacio, but a hotter dude. Get to work, ladies.

The eponymous poster for the yard sale says: "EXCELLENT TREASURES":

Time To Buy
Right Now
Real Collectibles
Everything Goes
Starting Over

I have a feeling that was, like everything else, Shane's work. Especially the last line. After putting up one poster, Doug and Andy commence hanging out at the beach making crude just-past-hip horndog smalltalk ("Lookit, Yoga Ass. Look at the ass like an apricot that she got in yoga.") They agree that Madonna arms are never sexy on a white woman, and then talk about how lonely and horny they are, and how Doug needs a life and a home, which of course immediately leads Andy to suggest that they become coyotes. Which has been telegraphed the last three weeks running so intensely that I'm surprised Doug didn't just cut to the chase.

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