Weeds

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Fashion Of The Christ

Previously on Weeds: an unaired scene wherein Nancy says she's thinking of running a bakery as a cover business. It makes sense, considering the success she saw after infusing sweet treats with Mary Jane. Also, Megan the Deaf Girl liked to give blow jobs, or so everyone around town heard.

We begin this beautiful Agrestic morning with Celia, awake in bed and staring at a sleeping Dean and his giant boner that's thankfully covered by a sheet. She pokes it a couple times, looking like that's as close to touching it as she'd like to get. Elsewhere, Nancy's woken from her slumber by the sound of the smoke alarm. She and the boys hurry downstairs to find a man cooking breakfast, and doing a rather shitty job of it, what with all the smoke. This would be Andy, Nancy's brother-in-law (Judah's brother) and the guy who, you'll remember, introduced Nancy to Conrad and the pot business to begin with. Andy's played by Justin Kirk, and while I'd be thrilled with the reunion of any of the Angels In America cast, seeing him and Mary-Louise Parker together again is especially fantastic. Anyway, the boys are jazzed to see Andy and they ask him about Alaska and he says it was awesome, save this one psycho chick who tried to bring him up on charges. And I laugh and laugh and count off the number of episodes until Kat shows up. He apologizes for the grease fire and calls Nancy "Pants," which she tells him not to do. Lupita walks in and is all, "Oh, shit. You?" Andy leers that he has enough love for the both of them. He brings gifts for the boys. He got a PSP for Silas, which is hot off the streets, literally. He gets a "neck massager" (ahem) for Nancy, and when she gives him the "inappropriate!" eyes, Lupita whispers "take it." And she does. Lupita says she'll put it in the bedroom "next to the little one." Hee. He got Shane some nunchucks, which immediately cause Nancy to freak out. It takes about two seconds for Shane to break something with them, so it's not like she's being unreasonable. Nancy pulls Andy aside and asks how long he plans on staying. Oh, just until he figures his life out. Not a second longer than that.

Later on, Andy comes upon Silas IMing with Megan, who is now his girlfriend. Andy praises Silas's wisdom in going for "slightly defective chicks." He says he once went out with a girl who had a "baby arm," and she was dynamite in bed, "plus, when she grabbed my dick with her little hand, it looked gigantic." Oh, Andy. You lovable scumbag. Shane walks in with a t-shirt with a stick figure of Jesus on the cross that reads "Chris Died For Your Sins." Silas laughs and asks if it's a joke, but Andy says it was actually a typo; he'd wanted to sell a line of faith-based t-shirts to cash in on the Passion of the Christ craze, but "Christ" got misspelled. What he ended up with was totally useless because, as he says, the Jesus freaks have no sense of humor. "I should have gone after the Jew market," he says. "At least we can take a joke."

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