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Fashion Of The Christ

Heylia's. Nancy's early, so Heylia's in her bathrobe cooking oatmeal. Nancy mentions that Andy made breakfast, and Heylia asks when "that fancy-cooking trouble" got into town. Nancy says she just woke up and there he was. "Like crotch crabs, only not as treatable," says Heylia. In case you hadn't noticed, Heylia's no fan of Andy's. Vaneeta exposits that Conrad and Andy worked at Circuit City together, got caught stealing together, and got fired together. Vaneeta also says they haven't gotten everything Nancy ordered yet, so she'll have to come back later. Nancy's got a bajillion orders to fill -- her buyers like to eat their smoke -- and with Andy cluttering up the kitchen besides, she moans that she's screwed. Heylia writes down the phone number of someone who can help Nancy out: The Candyman. Heylia and Vaneeta start giggling, and Vaneeta suggests Nancy "wear sporty shoes."

Nancy meets with Doug at the local Indian place ("Love Me Tandoor" -- hee). It's empty, except for them, and Doug bemoans the fact that people would rather eat at crap places like The Olive Garden instead. Okay, this Olive Garden bashing in the media has got to stop, people. I'm serious. Nancy says she really likes the creamy artichoke dip. See? Thank you, Nancy. Anyway, Doug's brought Nancy here because it would make a fine location for her front bakery.

Back home, Andy's smoking in Silas's room when Megan's IM window pops up. She's home with a sore throat. And like a total scumbag, Andy starts typing, as Silas, and tells her to take off her clothes. Oy. Lupita walks comes upon him jerking off (with the door open), gets grossed out, throws the phone at his junk, and blesses herself. The phone call is from Shane, who gets Andy to come down to his school and start selling the Chris t-shirts, which are a big hit. Shane spots the principal rumbling towards Andy's van, so Andy makes a quick getaway, throwing Shane to the wolves.

Cut to an emergency meeting of the Agrestic Gossipy Bitches Local 314, and they are so not amused by this blasphemous portrayal of Our Lord and Savior. Celia is conspicuously absent from the proceedings, but Nancy's there and of course she's the only one who thinks the shirts are funny. More importantly, she says it's not a big deal unless they make it one, at which point the t-shirts will become a full-blown trend. The women predictably give Nancy the stink-eye and wax sanctimonious about how you don't mock the Lord. The principal walks into the classroom with Shane by the collar, at which point Nancy realizes he was the one selling them. "I'll never talk!" vows Shane.

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