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Love Of Your Life
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Andy won't leave Nancy alone about where they're going; nobody understands that Nancy is being as straightforward as she can possibly be when she says "North" or "Destination: Away from where we were." When her parents got sick she just ran, it didn't matter that she went to ballet school, she could have gone anyway. When Judah died she went crazy and it didn't matter how, exactly, she was just going. When it was time to burn down Agrestic she just ran, it didn't matter where they were going. And so on. She runs at least as often as random acts of violence save her ass.

As Nancy (poorly) scrapes the road off the van's windshield -- it's shaped like a mallet; it'll never get completely clean -- Andy changes the subject to the horrific murder she witnessed the other day. "Did she scream? Was there lots of blood? Are you totally freaked that the fruit of your loins is a killer fruit?" Nancy's not really into talking about that either. Andy picks up her ringing cell phone and asks if she'd prefer to talk about Audra, whom he terms the "love of [his] life," which earns him a hilarious, if harsh, snort from Nancy.

He whines about that as he shows her the phone -- Esteban's left like eight messages -- but it's clear what she means: Audra wasn't the love of Andy's life because Andy's not really old enough to love or have a life ("Be the baby!") and even if he could, she considers it an open secret anyway that it certainly wouldn't be anybody but her. She is not wrong but damn, Nancy Pants. You gotta at least pretend boys have feelings.

Inside the convenience store Shane's looking for news of his big murder, but so far nothing. Silas is still schizing out about how Shane malleted a lady in the head, and hopes against hope that maybe she didn't really die. Shane snorts just like his mother and says it's possible, but only before the part where Nancy turned the key on the automatic pool cover and confined Pilar to a watery grave.

Back out at the pumps, Andy's gotten himself into an Aha Moment with a lady named Deb, whose fiancé is a seasonal logger and has perhaps grown distant. "If he's off felling and swamping six months a year, that's a message: He's not ready." Nancy shouts at him to change Stevie Ray, whipping the entire bundle of diapers at his chest, and stalks off to finally listen to the messages from her husband. They are predictable: He wants to know where she is, when she'll be back, and where his son is. She gets, I think, confirmation of Pilar's death, although we don't hear it. Which means she's fucked. She hangs up on voicemail, and mourns a little also, I think, for her third marriage.

And you know, it is sad. Considering how many obstacles they overcame in their rocky relationship, when you think about it: The lion cage, the raping, the constant threat of murder, Shane getting shot, the time they confined her so they could steal the child from her womb, accidental trafficking in child prostitutes, that time they did shamanic drugs and barfed all over the place, that time his daughter OD'd on heroin. Cesar, with the little fishies tickling his toes. Forcing Sucio to bathe. You can't say they never tried. They tried harder than most. I think Nancy totally gets to snort at the idea of Audra mattering.

Anyway, Nancy's ready to go and is not interested in letting Andy finish his little convo with the logging wife, so she just starts driving away with the van door open, honking at him like they're headed to Pittsburgh with Zooey Deschanel. "So you gotta say, Hey, what does Deb want for Deb? Do you have e-mail, Deb? ...You deserve everything good! Keep strong, sister!" Andy, he's a helper. (Also strangely interested in dangerous-job reality shows this week, for some reason.)

Andy jumps in, and then about five minutes into the drive Nancy realizes that they totally just foursquared their location by paying with a card. She nearly starts crying and/or punching anybody in reach, and Andy says they just need to hit a CostCo or something and max out all the cards at once, as close to this last purchase as possible. Good call. "Now or never. Max out the cards, snap 'em, and drive like fuck so we're nowhere near this place." Nancy likes that idea, clings to it like a little fishie on the toes, but then misses the exit. She nearly loses it, right there, and everybody gets scared. Last time she was like this it was the punishment light and she was alone. She's still alone.

"What's the matter? They open the pool cover?" Nancy shoots Shane a look for telling Silas her part in all this, and can't say out loud that Pilar is definitely dead. Silas meanwhile feels like it's definitely necessary to turn back at this point: "We can explain it. He's a juvenile. We don't have to throw everything away. It was a mistake, self-defense..." Shane opens up his bonkers mouth and goes, "It wasn't a mistake. She never even saw it coming!"

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