"It's called Regrestic now," Dana says, which is fucking awesome, and yet somehow Doug tops it: "Well that's retarded!" For some reason that exchange made me miss Isabelle.
Dana explains that he is not relevant to this family -- "just the idiot man-baby who walked out on us" -- and that he doesn't have permission to ruin her life again. He pulls the whole "Are you as turned on as I am right now?" and she punches him. For some reason that exchange made me miss Celia.
Andy comes home to yell at Hooman about his dick and then tells Hooman to run to the Mahmoods and try one more time so that he won't end up alone and dead like Andy is clearly going to. Hooman waves his college acceptance letter in the air and then skinny-jeans himself off into a great new Botwin-free existence. Andy is tripping out on the dead people, like Daoud said he would eventually, and points out that the money they've amassed is not enough for anything they need.
"Guess Copenhagen's off," Andy whines, just as Nancy's returning. She looks like she's been crying; it's because she's been crying. She hands Andy the huge Vaughn wad, for the passports, and then Schiff runs off on some pathetic errand or another, to get money for the tickets. Nancy drops face-down on the bed, exhausted, and soon enough her men appear, one by one, to express themselves.
Andy cries about death. Schiff crows about getting the air tickets; apparently he's going along and they'll be -- he explains like a kid on a band trip -- sitting together. Andy wigs about his "life plan" and where his dick will end up; he begins to plan his funeral: "Open bar. Big picture of me...." Schiff hints around for a handjob, I think. Andy's ashes will be split: Half set adrift on an ice floe in Glacier Bay and the other half blown into an old bully's face with the greeting, Anus Botwin says hi. He's a poet, he really is. Schiff hints around for a blowjob. Andy threatens to haunt her with murder hallucinations, flying babies, giant Hellmouth in her closet -- "yeah, real nightmare shit" -- if she doesn't follow his instructions to the letter.