Weeds

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Wing Chun: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Rec centre. The Segway guy from the neighbourhood rolls up an aisle (so that we can be sure the Segway's going to go off in the third act, I guess), and we see that Nancy has arrived. She grabs a couple of bottles of water and hands them to Isabelle and Shane, sitting on a nearby cot. As she moves along, Celia catches up with her, acting shifty and giddy as hell as she excitedly asks what their next move is -- you know, with their conspiracy to traffic marijuana and all. Nancy tries to blow her off by saying they'll regroup later, and Celia makes sure Nancy doesn't forget that Celia's in the group now. As their mothers go their separate ways, Isabelle tells Shane that Nancy has a great ass. Shane sadly tells her not to be gross, and Isabelle immediately says she was just kidding. Shane chooses this moment to ask whether Isabelle is really a lesbian, and by way of answer, she asks him whether he really talks to his dead father. Shane avoids answering by saying he has to go to the bathroom. Brilliant, dude. Name, rank, and serial number. She hasn't got a thing on you.

Enforcing the evacuation order, a bunch of cops and Celia's favorite firefighter break into the grow house, and are not at all prepared for what they see. Especially the firefighter, who recognizes it as the location for Peckers Of The Caribbean. Hee.

Rec centre. Shane's drooping over his turtles as Nancy asks whether Franco is named for the Spanish dictator, but of course not: he's named after Franco Harris, a Hall of Fame Steeler. Nancy firmly tells Shane that they will never move to Pittsburgh, because she can't handle the cold. Shane suggests Tampa as an alternative, but before they can debate it, Nancy gets a call on her cell and says she has to go. Nancy, I can field the Tampa question: NO. Meanwhile, behind them, the curly-haired canvasser from last week is leading a prayer meeting. Soon, of course, she is overcome and starts speaking in tongues, which is when Doug enters, improvising another verse in his banjo ditty (which isn't hard when your lyrics are...pretending to speak in tongues). To the Bible-thumpers' credit, none of them punches Doug in the face -- possibly because to do so would require them to break speaking-in-tongues character.

Capt. Till has called Sullivan in to question him about what's been going on in his house. Sullivan calmly recaps the whole story (leave it to the professionals). Till assumes that if Sullivan was sleeping with Celia ("she of the magical house-earning pussy") in the house he gave her, he would have seen...you know, all the plants, but Sullivan says that he and Celia broke it off and that she must have started this sideline after their relationship ended, since she's such a complicated woman. Till: "Jesus, Groff, if I let you stick your finger up my ass, can I get a Porsche?" Sullivan doesn't even look like he's considering it! His mask of affability falls -- but just for a second, and then he asks to leave for Colorado Springs. Till tells him to leave a number. I'm sure it will totally, totally not be a fake with six digits, either.

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