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Episode Report Card
Joe R: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Good Shit Lollipop

Hodes House. Celia's spraying for bugs in Isabelle's room when she discovers the reason why she has to spray for bugs: a bag of candy hidden underneath her daughter's pillow. Okay, that is kind of gross, but if Celia wasn't so Sugar Nazi about it, Isabelle probably wouldn't have a food hoarding complex. Anyway, Celia's solution is to replace Isabelle's chocolate with chocolate laxative. As you do. Elsewhere, Shane thaws out a giant steak and slaps it down on the back patio while he sits watch with his air rifle and waits for the cougar to take the bait. Weird little fucker.

Meanwhile, Silas is at some abandoned-looking house where the wayward youth of Agrestic come to drink and smoke and debauch. He's talking to one of his drunk-ass buddies who's slurring about some web site that teaches girls how to give head. Yeah, but it's the internet, so there's like a 65% chance that these girls are getting erroneous information. For reliable blowjob information, girls (and boys, let's not forget) should go to primary sources, like peer-reviewed journal articles and Sue Johanson. Anyway, on the subject of deep-throating, Silas is like, "Yeah, Deaf Megan can do that." We're treated to another anecdote about the estimable Dennis Cling, who says Megan's mouth is like a Dirt Devil. When Silas gets up to find more coherent company he comes across Deaf Megan herself in the next room. She's got a can of spray paint and is correcting some graffiti that reads "Megan Gives Good Head." She's crossing out "good" and substituting "great." Someone has good self-esteem! Silas fucks with her behind her back for a second before she turns around and gives him an annoyed look. He keeps blocking her path to leave so finally she gives him a look like, "Seriously?" And it's Silas, and "horndoggy" is his default expression (when it's not "pissy," that is), so she licks her lips and drops to her knees. Silas unzips his pants and closes his eyes...and Megan spray-paints his crotch. Not a euphemism. Silas hurriedly buttons up, as Megan gives him the finger, and he calls her a "crazy bitch" and runs off.

Nancy's at home, cooking up some THC baked goods while Conrad talks her through it on the phone. He exposits that this represents another level in Nancy's dealing: bigger buys mean bigger risks. Nancy, as usual, brushes off the danger of this whole enterprise. Conrad wants to know how Nancy's holding up, and Nancy still seems oblivious to Conrad's affections, despite the fact that you can practically see the puppy-dog eyes through the phone. She says the cake she's baking smells amazing, which Conrad says means she needs to get it out of the oven. Now or it'll burn!! Hee, I love Conrad's sense of urgency over the baked goods. Nancy throws the phone down and takes the cake pan out of the oven with her bare hands while we hear a pop-pop-pop from outside. Nancy's seeing to her burned fingers when Shane rushes in and says, "I did it! I shot the mountain lion!" She's like, "That's nice, off to bed!" and frantically runs around the kitchen as the popcorn overflows on the stovetop. Silas takes advantage of the distraction to sneak in through the front door.

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