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Joe R: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Good Shit Lollipop

Celia shows up at Nancy's with a bee in her bonnet about the mountain lion. She's had fliers printed up about what to do if you encounter the cougar, which Nancy reads aloud: "Give the mountain lion some room. Don't make eye contact. Talk to the lion softly." Nancy asks if these aren't instructions for dating a mountain lion. Nancy's got baking to do, so she tries to gently hint Celia out the door, but Celia's abrupt change of topic is just too interesting; Celia's thinking about having sex with another woman. She wonders aloud whether she was supposed to be a "dyke" but just missed her calling. "The truth is," she says, "I really want to fuck around on Dean, but the thought of having to put one more cock into my mouth is just too depressing." Nancy makes the sage point that subbing out a cock for a vagina isn't going to necessarily be an improvement for her. Celia agrees, saying vaginas skeeve her out. The conversations one gets into with Miss Celia Hodes, I swear. "Speaking of pussy," Celia segues (love her!), "somebody killed the Alderman's cat." She figures it was just one of the neighborhood kids, at which point Nancy's face registers that she's remembering Shane's claim that he shot the mountain lion last night. Nancy covers for herself by lying that she thinks one of Silas's friends did it. Celia urges Nancy to tell the kid's parents, because we all know how killing animals as a child leads to dismembering people and wearing their faces. Nancy, now double-concerned, tries physically pushing Celia out the door, but Celia wants an answer to her original question: has Nancy ever done it with another woman? Nancy admits she did, once, in college, and it was "boring." Celia says maybe she wasn't doing it right, but Nancy says the other girl said is was the best she'd ever had. "Well what are you doing Friday night," asks Celia with a hilarious head tilt.

Later on, Nancy shows up at Doug's poker night to make her pitch. She's got brownies and cookies and popcorn balls all loaded up with THC (which won't clog up their lungs or stink up their clothing, she says), plus some of that high-end smokable weed for the old-schoolers. She's even brought samples! Her pitch is this: Nancy's got what they like and she brings it right to them, without them having to schlep into the city, and without the pot clubs Xeroxing their driver's licenses and putting them in a state data bank, where they'd be a registered weed fiend for all (particularly ex-wives) to see. Doug practically does a spit take at that last part, and Dean's been salivating over Nancy's sweets for the last five minutes, so needless to say, Nancy's back in business.

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