Episode Report Card
Joe R: B | Grade It Now!
Higher Education

Back home, Andy's once again fooling around with Hot Mom, and it turns out she's a biter. She won't even let him get up to answer the door, either, leaving Shane to accept delivery for his Teacher's Edition. Max asks the delivery guy if he can ship a whole body (Delivery Guy: "We ship anything, kid."), which tells me Shane has found exactly the right play buddy -- or exactly the wrong one, now that I think about it. Later on, Andy's making dinner and Nancy comes home, enthusing about how great it is for Shane to have found a friend. Andy shows off one of his sure-to-be-many hickeys and admits to having sex with Hot Mom. Nancy's furious that Andy would go and fuck the mother of Shane's only friend, saying that when Andy follows his fuck-and-dump pattern, Hot Mom won't let Max hang around Shane anymore, and Shane will be crushed. Which means Andy will have to keep fucking Hot Mom, whether he likes it or not, "until Shane and Max go to separate colleges or you run out of soft tissue." Andy objects, but Nancy's adamant: "You made your bed, now fuck in it."

At the hospital, we continue to learn more about why Celia's the way she is. Her mom is currently complaining that Celia still blames her for "whatever it is children make up to blame their parents for," and that that's where the cancer came from. Celia starts to explain biology to her mom, and says that it's actually been something of a blessing. Pat gets a phone call from her pastor and bitches to him that her daughter just called her cancer a "blessing." You'd think a pastor would be onboard with that, but it seems this guy just wants to make sure Pat won't miss the church cruise. She assures him that she won't be visiting Celia for that long, don't worry.

Rap music and graffiti-tagged concrete buildings must mean we're headed to Heylia's house. Nancy's placing a giant order and explains that she's expanding. Heylia is, if you can believe it, dubious at the wisdom of this. Nancy gets a call from Sanjay who's apparently swimming in orders, and Nancy's like, "No, this is good news. I'm at my dealer's house right now and --" Nancy gets cut off by Heylia snatching the phone out of Nancy's hand, hanging up, and threatening to fuck her up (Nancy: "No! Don't fuck me up!"). It's time for some more Dealer Tips and Strategies with your host Heylia James. For starters, no talking on her cell at Heylia's house, that's liable to get the both of them popped. She explains that it's like a pyramid, and Nancy wants to be at the top, and she needs soldiers below her. Soldiers who don't even know her and who damn well better not know Heylia. And she should get some disposable cell phones for Chrissakes. Nancy, wide-eyed, says she hears Heylia, who tells her to come back later and pick up her stuff. On her way out, Nancy turns back and almost makes it to a smile as she says, "Every time I leave here I feel like such an asshole." "Mmm hmm," mutters Heylia, halfway to a smirk herself.

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