Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
I Am The Table

Esteban pulls out Nancy's seat at lunch, and asks about the lesbian thing. "Around Guillermo I am. Made it easier to be friends. When we were friends. Before he wanted to kill me in front of my children." He says it's okay now, and Julio comes running up to show Esteban that he gave blood. Esteban tells her to order whatever she wants, and Julio will make it happen. "Elk," she jokes, and Julio nods and gets ready to find her some elk. She stops him and says to just make whatever his best thing is; Esteban orders the same. They talk about how it's almost like she's on a date with the Mayor of Tijuana, and she excuses herself.

There's a poster of Esteban in the bathroom; she's drawing on a lipstick mustache and antennae when shots ring out in the restaurant. She comes out and the place is wrecked; secret service guys are sending out radio calls for help; Esteban is caring for a woman on the floor when Nancy walks up. Esteban promises to pay Julio for the damage, and one of his guys tells him to get out of there. He yells and says he still wants to have lunch, and cracks open a beer. He assures the crowd at large that everything's going to be fine, and notices that his neck is bleeding a little bit.

"Do you have any Neosporin?" Nancy looks through her purse -- hair gone crazy, yet again, from this experience -- and comes up with Twizzlers, tampons, and a Tide stick. No problem. Esteban attempts to sit her back down and have normal lunch, because people are watching and need to know it's okay. Nancy points out that he didn't drink from his beer when he was toasting the crowd, which is bad luck, and he says he doesn't like drinking from the bottle. Me neither. A shaky person who has no problem with that is named Nancy Botwin, and she downs it in one: "But then, I have trouble breathing after I've been shot at, which clearly you don't, so... I guess we all have our things."

"Another school, another first day," says Isabelle: "Another sweaty glass of social stigma." You know what's going to be awesome? Watching Allie Grant continue to transcend Disney for the rest of our lives. She's so great, and so young, and she's going to be doing this forever. That's going to be awesome. Shane tries to mantrify Isabelle that they are interesting and worthwhile people, but she's coming from the School of Hodes where you ain't shit, biscuit. "Yeah, well. If only life were a Judd Apatow movie where geeks rule the world. But it's not, so let's just suck it up." Word. Not to mention that it's not even realistic in the way of movies, because Seth Rogan is so the hot male version of the naughty librarian where the guy falls for her and nobody in the movie can believe it but you're like, "Um, no matter how many pairs of spectacles you put on Rachael Leigh Cook at one time, she's still fucking hot."

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