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Drunken Bee: N/A | Grade It Now!
In That Dress?

Nancy pulls into a large garage and gets out of the car to a number of cat calls. Guillermo immediately goes over to her car and smashes her taillight. He tells her to go get it fixed in Mexico and then spits a bunch of confusing, landmark-based directions at Nancy -- "Look for the beer-can-horse-head-thing on the side"; she just wants to plug the address into her GPS. They speak two different languages, get it? Except, of course, for when they speak the same one: cash money. Guillermo waves two bundles of cash -- ten thousand dollars -- at Nancy and she sashays over to him to grab at it, but he says that it's cash-on-delivery only. She does her white lady pout and gets in the car. He tells her they got her a little present, and one of his cronies leans in and sticks a bobble-head Jesus on her dash. Nancy's eyes go wide as she tries to protest that she "doesn't do this kind of thing," but Guillermo tells her it brings good luck. Nancy sighs and Guillermo says that it'll all go fine; all she needs to do is "act like how you act" -- and it's true, Nancy is rather a savant at this drug dealing business. Nancy leans out the window a bit and asks Guillermo what she's really doing. Guillermo says that "the money doesn't like when you ask questions." She buckles up and declares she's off to Mexico, "Viva Zapata."

Back at the ancestral Botwin homestead, Lenny is leaving Silas and Shane in charge of grandma while he goes to the track. He goes over their duties with them, changing diapers and rolling her in the afternoon and all that. The boys look nonplussed, a state that only worsens as their grandfather tells "Klaus" -- "uh, Silas" Silas responds -- to stay out of his things if they ever want to handle their "shmeckes" again. I'm going to need to dig out my Yiddish-to-English phrase book soon. More yadda yadda-ing from Lenny as he makes his way out the door; even great-grandma's living corpse is tired of it. She makes what sounds like a death rattle, and Lenny assures the boys that it's just a sound she makes sometimes. He pauses at the door and tells the boys to tell their Uncle Andy that he'll need to reimburse him (Lenny) for whatever food he eats at the house and that he (Andy) still owes $20,000. That's a new plot point, I guess! Scene ends with a squirty poop noise, and Silas leaving Shane to deal with it. I'm going to venture an opinion on that one and say it is not a plot point.

Prison. We open on a woman who a) sort of looks like a trannie and b) I honestly did not recognize for a moment. Then we cut to Doug and Isabelle doing the plexiglass phone thing bullshitting happily about an all-you-can-eat fish restaurant. Mystery-woman finally pipes up: "You fuckers. You ratted on me" and I realize that this woman? Is Celia. Celia, completely and totally chola-d up: pencilled-in brows, lined lips, curling-iron-barrel curls and all. She tells Doug and Isabelle that her cellmate "Cheetah" has suggested she become her special girl. Doug brushes her off and tells her that she's safer in jail than out; the community is outraged that she was such a hypocrite. So outraged that they spray-painted "hypocrite" on the charred remains of her house. How Bush-era-retarded of them. Isabelle pretends to have a heart, and remarks that her mother really does look scared; a warden comes over and ends the conversation. Celia gets taken away, begging them to help, saying she doesn't want to be anyone's special girl.

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