Weeds

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Wing Chun: B- | Grade It Now!
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Last Tango In Agrestic

Silas's room. He contemplates a condom for a long moment, and then deliberately pierces it with the pointy end of a safety pin. Megan scampers back in. Let's hope she has some kind of hormonal shield on her end. Heh heh. End.

Nancy's at night. Our girl is enjoying a glass of wine when Celia staggers in, explaining that she "pulled a muscle in [her] cooze at Boot Camp." Heh. Also, ouch. Nancy asks what's up, and Celia says she's there to pull Nancy out of her depression -- you know, bakery burned down, nothing to do all day, parasitic brother-in-law, yada. Nancy cannily intuits that Celia didn't just hobble over with "an achy vagina" to ask after Nancy's well-being, and Celia gets to it, finally, begging Nancy to work on her city council campaign. Celia's underlings are morons, and she just wants Nancy to keep her company; she doesn't even care whom Nancy votes for. Nancy reluctantly accepts. Shane comes in, grabs a banana, and books. Celia asks how Nancy gets her kids to eat fruit, and Nancy says that Shane's been on a banana kick lately. Or in one. Celia grabs Nancy's glass and says she's going home to "ice [her] beaver," and tossing back a final "See you next Tuesday!" Hee.

When Celia's gone, Nancy gets a phone call; it's Peter, saying he was just thinking about where they were twenty-four hours ago. There's a wispy white blur, and then we're flashing back to Nancy, blearily sitting on a plane, though in a different outfit than the one we saw her wearing in the earlier plane shot. As earlier (or later, technically), Nancy's using her bag as a pillow and drinking a cocktail. A little turbulence causes Nancy to spill her drink all over her chest, and Peter, sitting next to her, dabs at her chest with a napkin, saying that they'll get her something to wear when they land.

And then they've landed, Nancy's in her "fear & loathing" shirt, and she and Peter are slowly walking toward the camera. She clarifies that they don't have to tell anyone about what they're doing, and that it's strictly business. "And this means they can't make you testify against me?" Nancy clarifies. Peter confirms that. Nancy says that she'll get to keep "the certificate," and Peter agrees that she can do whatever she wants with it. He asks if there's anything else, and Nancy snickers that she has to be home for family dinner. And then we see that they're being married by an Elvis impersonator. Because why would you pass up an opportunity for camp on Weeds? "Now do you trust me?" asks Peter. Nancy: "When you did this with the Santiago brothers, did they wear white?" Only Jorge. That Pedro is a whore.

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Weeds

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