Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
Snakes In A Cokehead!

Nancy lays down the white lady smack on Lisa and Silas, who are scared for a second. Silas asks why she's there, and she says she wants to make sure he's not doing anything stupid. "Like trafficking with the Mexican Mafia?" And then it is on. She basically gives Lisa this whole speech about what it takes to have a grow house, i.e., to be a caregiver for Silas, and it's very sad because it's very obvious that she feels like her kid is being abducted by another mommy, which is what is happening. Which leaves Silas out of the equation altogether, of course, so he starts defying his mom about all the things he already totally knows about having a grow house. Which he knows from the last time Nancy didn't feel like parenting and dropped him off with Conrad. "I won't let anything happen to him" Lisa says, and Nancy calls her out for being a MILF: "Rad's gonna be seventeen sooner than you think. He's a good looking boy..." Silas is amazed by this exit line; Lisa just stands there with her mouth open and wonders how it so quickly went from hot teenage dick to all this drama.

Celia needs another eightball because she already snorted the one from yesterday; Ignacio points out that she is beyond fucked up. She lays down a hardcore "Give me. The Fucking. Blow." Then sneezes blood all over his face. CELIA!

Andy reveals the horrible secret of Sammy Davis, Jr. Nancy is unimpressed -- she thought it was a gun! -- but when she flips the book open, and sees the pictures, she gets totally squicked out. Andy promises that he's jerking off to them, and Nancy tells him to fix it. They gossip about Silas and Shane's respective bullshittery, until Nancy hits the brakes. She takes the pictures and worries, asking if perchance this is one of those normal boy things that we don't talk about. Andy assures her that his mother was not hot enough to jerk off to: "Flappy upper arms, strange moles." Nancy wishes it had been a gun instead.

Ignacio is freaking out: why? Because Celia is wandering through the tunnel to Mexico with a thousand tissues up her crazy nose offering to fuck strange Mexicans underground for coke. Ignacio apologizes and says he had to take a crap. "And this is what came out?" asks the guy. I grant you that Celia is not being her best self right now, but that's still kind of harsh. They bustle her back upstairs. I hope she does not die; on the other hand, I'm not thrilled with this storyline for reasons I can't quite nail down. It's totally in character for Celia to become a coke whore at this point in her life, sure, but the great thing about Celia has always been her terrifying willpower. She's become weak and gross in a way that's only barely justifiable.

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