Agrestic High. Megan texts Silas to join her in the library, but he blows her off thusly: "i cant b tied down." Megan's like, "I'm getting dumped by an Avril song?"
Elsewhere, the head Gossipy Bitch, Maggie, is running the PTA meeting when Celia wanders in, wearing her Pink Ladies jacket and not so much looking for the condescending sympathy everyone's throwing her way. She lights up a cig and gets the usual ration of shit re: secondhand smoke. She also tells Maggie she didn't bake the muffins for the bake sale, because she didn't feel like it. "None of us feels like baking," snots Maggie. "But we do it. For the kids." Celia pulls a wad of cash from her jacket and tells them to keep the change. Then she pulls out a white pellet, which she says is the "last pharmaceutical Quaalude on Earth," and leaves with a hilarious behind-the-back finger wave (Elizabeth Perkins's physicality in this role is sublime), which nearly causes Pam to follow her out.
Back to Silas, as he approaches Chelsea and her Mean Girls, saying he heard she was asking for him last night. Oh, Silas. You deserve everything you're about to get. Chelsea's like, "...I was? Oh yeah, someone said you were bringing beer, so by asking around for you, I was really only asking where the beer was." And then she asks him if he got carded or something. Humiliated, Silas is like, "Yeah, something like that." Punk.
Heylia's. Andy's turned up like the bad penny and Heylia's treating him as such. He tries some Eddie Haskell on her, but even Conrad is grossed out at that. Andy levels that he wants to go into business for himself, and would Heylia be able to hook him up? Conrad starts grilling him about horning in on Nancy's territory, but Heylia pointedly says that's Nancy's problem, not theirs. Their only concern is whether Andy has the money. He does. He pushes his luck trying to get cutesy with Heylia, though, and he's lucky she didn't crack him one.
Cut to Andy driving home in his beat-up hippie van, hands at ten and two and a joint in his mouth. What I just told Silas about deserving what he's about to get? Goes double here. He gets pulled over by a bicycle cop, and since he decides to cope with this situation by giving the cop as much shit as possible, he gets his fool ass arrested for what started as running a stop sign.
Back home, Shane tells his mom that the school counselor's probably going to be calling her soon because he wrote a "gangster rap about killing Devon Rensler. With my gat." Nancy was probably not in the mood for firearm-related foolishness today, so she's immediately all up in Shane's business about how that's not funny, it's serious business, guns firing and bullets whizzing by people's heads. Shane tries to squirm away, but Nancy's grabbing his arms and trying to make him understand how freaked out she is. She's too busy doing that to take Andy's phone call, so Lupita passes on the message: Andy's in jail.