Weeds

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Mile Deep And A Foot Wide

And that's dinner over. Shane gets up to follow Gretchen out, apologizing to Peter for insulting his dinner, probably as a pre-emptive move to avoid Peter waterboarding him. And Andy slinks off to "feed the cat." Left alone, Nancy and Peter stare at each other, Nancy finally shrugging, "Dinner with the family!" Sure. As scripted by John Cassavetes.

Motel room. What's better than porno? Tapes from the "drug-free zone" surveillance cameras, obviously. Doug chuckles that he can't believe they let Celia have them. She explains that they can't afford to have anyone monitor them; no one sees the tapes from her, though there aren't as many as there used to be -- someone's been stealing the cameras and signs. Mostly, they're nothing special -- kids clowning around, a super-skinny woman out power-walking with, like, forty-pound hand weights -- but then Celia cues up something good: Littman, the sexagenarian Segway enthusiast, out enjoying his Segway nude. Nice ass for a guy that age. Yeah, I said it! She says he's out there around 10 every night, but that there haven't been any complaints so far. Doug says that's because everyone's "inside molesting their kids." "Dark," says Celia. Doug says that three hours of "Agrestic Gone Wild will do that to you." Celia can't believe it's been three hours already, and hurries to leave. On her way to get dressed, she kindly tells Doug, "Thanks for the dick." "Sure thing," he replies affably. See, Celia? You get more dick with honey.

In Andy's van, parked in front of Nancy's, Kat is toking up as Andy signs Kat's release. She's hurt that he isn't going to read it, but he says he's going to go to bed, and that she needs to leave in the morning. Kat tries to get him to come with her to Baja, but he tells her that he can't: he "has a thing here," helping Nancy. Kat condescendingly says that would be great, if he believed it. She then sets fire to the release. Andy asks what she's doing, and she reminds him, "Do you realize how many felonies we committed? I'm publishing the book as fiction." Self-publishing it, I think you mean. Andy asks why she's there, then, if not to get his release, and Kat coos that she wanted to see him. Aw. Andy, wait for her to fall asleep and get you that van towed.

Nancy's boudoir. Apparently all the physical assault of her kid has been forgotten for the moment, as we see Nancy lighting candles on her dresser and getting ready to make with the rose petals, hiding all her photos of Judah out of sight. The room thus prepared, she sits at the foot of the bed in her camisole and panties, performing Conrad's acupressure technique on her own hand. Peter emerges from the bathroom in his boxers and t-shirt, asking if she's okay. She lies that she is, sends him away from Judah's side of the bed, tells him to be quiet, and then it's time for all the fornicating. But the kissing lasts about twelve seconds before Nancy remembers what the hell she's about in life, and has to ask why Peter had to hit Silas's elbow like that.

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